This weekend i spent a lot of time worrying over a bill getting to where it needed to go in time enough through the mail so i wouldn't get late charges....I had totally forgotten to send it earlier this week because it was hidden on that scattered, wild mess of a thing called a counter top...lol.
Had i seen it earlier this week, it would have gotten mailed on time....but this week has been crazy and i never saw it...
I spent soooooo much time worrying about it this weekend that i wanted to cry because those bill collectors don't show any mercy...they don't care that you forgot it or etc....they want the check on time or else..penalties/late charges...ya know stupid crap....that isn't fair at all.....nothing is i know.
I know it probably didn't get there on time and i will be paying big late charges...and it finally hit me---Why Worry?!Who Cares?!
I told myself that this year i was going to try my best to STOP worrying so much about everyone and everything as i have the past several years...I don't know what causes it? other than it's genetic and i think worrying is caused from insecurity and stress which has been abundant the past year surrounding me....
my family is a total mystery right now...we haven't heard from a few certain ones.....i love them all...sooooo naturally i worry about them,try to figure out where they are and what is up...then i start to cry and miss them.....and it carries over into all aspects of my life lately...
But why worry?...seriously....i'm probably worrying over these family members who most likely definitely are ok and will be ok.....it's just caused me a lot of stress all this has...not just me but everyone else clueless as well.....i hear bits and pieces here and there and that is it...confused.
I need to just take hold of my "who gives a crap" side of my personality and go with it! and just not care about things that i obviously have no control over and accept the fact that i probably won't get an answer to those questions i really want the answers to.....they'll never tell me what's going on...so i shall remain clueless....it just really stresses me.
worrying is useless....worrying is for no reason most the time they say...it doesn't solve things or change them.so i'm working on that worry flaw i have..lol....it would help if i didn't care so much....but i do and i can't stop caring about people i love..
at least i'm not the only one confused lately.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
cold and other things....
Finally sitting by the fire after a long cold day..nice warm baths/showers feel great after working all day in the cold....It was only 32 degrees all day and after breaking 3 frozen ponds for the cows/horses to drink this morning at 5am, i have been nothing but freezing all day.
Wanna wake yourself up easily in the morning?...go outside at 5am and just stand there in the cold wind...wow...wakes you up fast..see..you don't even need coffee!..lol...still on my cappuccino kick...every other morning i make one on the machine...it's Winter so it's hot chocolate or cappuccino every other morning...reminder:i need to order more discs for that coffee machine.
i can't tolerate too much caffeine....i get way too jittery...my body is sensitive to a lot of things...allergic probably...i recently discovered and realized that i'm possibly allergic to something in pancake syrup..i always get headaches after using it..so i found a recipe and we all made some this weekend for Saturday family breakfast at my Auntie's house.....homemade pancake syrup----gave me NO headaches...so yeah,i must be allergic to the store brand..homemade pancake syrup from now on!!!....how crazy i just blogged about that!...lol.
too cold anyway---i was invited to go see a friend's band play tonite at a club, but we're still on "lockdown by family til further notice"..LOL...i feel like a child..*eyeroll*..Here's that same ol' lecture that is set in stone for eternity by my father and the rest of my family etc..it goes like this.:"With all the dangerous stuff going on lately...no young woman needs to be out on these roads at night..by yourself or with friends, lots of bad things go on, on these dark desolate country roads..it's dangerous everywhere."......
yeah i know..(yawn)...nice to know they love us and care...and want to keep us safe from all the hillbillies and weirdos...but sometimes it gets annoying....i'm listening to be safe and smart....besides i've got too many cracked hillbilly relatives out there who would love to harm me...sad but true...so i stay home.
nite nite.
Wanna wake yourself up easily in the morning?...go outside at 5am and just stand there in the cold wind...wow...wakes you up fast..see..you don't even need coffee!..lol...still on my cappuccino kick...every other morning i make one on the machine...it's Winter so it's hot chocolate or cappuccino every other morning...reminder:i need to order more discs for that coffee machine.
i can't tolerate too much caffeine....i get way too jittery...my body is sensitive to a lot of things...allergic probably...i recently discovered and realized that i'm possibly allergic to something in pancake syrup..i always get headaches after using it..so i found a recipe and we all made some this weekend for Saturday family breakfast at my Auntie's house.....homemade pancake syrup----gave me NO headaches...so yeah,i must be allergic to the store brand..homemade pancake syrup from now on!!!....how crazy i just blogged about that!...lol.
too cold anyway---i was invited to go see a friend's band play tonite at a club, but we're still on "lockdown by family til further notice"..LOL...i feel like a child..*eyeroll*..Here's that same ol' lecture that is set in stone for eternity by my father and the rest of my family etc..it goes like this.:"With all the dangerous stuff going on lately...no young woman needs to be out on these roads at night..by yourself or with friends, lots of bad things go on, on these dark desolate country roads..it's dangerous everywhere."......
yeah i know..(yawn)...nice to know they love us and care...and want to keep us safe from all the hillbillies and weirdos...but sometimes it gets annoying....i'm listening to be safe and smart....besides i've got too many cracked hillbilly relatives out there who would love to harm me...sad but true...so i stay home.
nite nite.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
slow paced.....
Slept really great last nite....nothing better than falling asleep to raindrops hitting the windows...and after all of this no rainfall it's GREATLY appreciated!...i hope it rains a lot more.
Finally got around to doing some shopping this week for things needed for my upcoming vacation.....Believe me, i'm not all about shopping in this materialistic world....i don't get to shop much being so far from town..BUT i did manage to find,try on, and purchase a few things on my "To Buy List Before March Vacation"...lol
I bought-----
off white snow boots with faux fur*be kind to animals NO fur* ;)
leggings
socks
4 shirts/tops--2 in pink, 1 in white, and 1 in turquoise--sparkles.
a pale mint green sweatshirt/pant combo.Warm & soooo soft!Love it!
pajamas
That's all i have gotten so far on my list...i'm missing skinny jeans,white rimmed sunglasses,and a new purse..I want a western one in cowprint with rhinestones and a cross...ya know a blingy one..not too expensive just cute....i'm all about cowprint these days...that's easily explainable being a cowgirl/farm girl....haha...
today has been a rather sloooooow good day.....i've realized that i have to have a slow pace to my life or my nerves tend to get bad...which is why i am exactly where i should be living my life in peace....sometimes people just get annoying with all their whining and complaining...i've recently remembered just why i chose to be a cowgirl after listening to a bunch of girls bitching and complaining at a store in town....i thought:"God..i'm sooooo lucky to be able to avoid that crap."
people just get too hurried and worked up about stupid things in the city or whatever town they're smothering themselves in....i don't get all that bitching,competitive and hurry-hurry stuff..i gotta be laid-back,go stare at clouds or something and chill..haha..I like the slow pace to all things in my life...some may say it's boring...but not for me!....i say, hey,at least i still have my sanity....so far...lol.
xoxo
Finally got around to doing some shopping this week for things needed for my upcoming vacation.....Believe me, i'm not all about shopping in this materialistic world....i don't get to shop much being so far from town..BUT i did manage to find,try on, and purchase a few things on my "To Buy List Before March Vacation"...lol
I bought-----
off white snow boots with faux fur*be kind to animals NO fur* ;)
leggings
socks
4 shirts/tops--2 in pink, 1 in white, and 1 in turquoise--sparkles.
a pale mint green sweatshirt/pant combo.Warm & soooo soft!Love it!
pajamas
That's all i have gotten so far on my list...i'm missing skinny jeans,white rimmed sunglasses,and a new purse..I want a western one in cowprint with rhinestones and a cross...ya know a blingy one..not too expensive just cute....i'm all about cowprint these days...that's easily explainable being a cowgirl/farm girl....haha...
today has been a rather sloooooow good day.....i've realized that i have to have a slow pace to my life or my nerves tend to get bad...which is why i am exactly where i should be living my life in peace....sometimes people just get annoying with all their whining and complaining...i've recently remembered just why i chose to be a cowgirl after listening to a bunch of girls bitching and complaining at a store in town....i thought:"God..i'm sooooo lucky to be able to avoid that crap."
people just get too hurried and worked up about stupid things in the city or whatever town they're smothering themselves in....i don't get all that bitching,competitive and hurry-hurry stuff..i gotta be laid-back,go stare at clouds or something and chill..haha..I like the slow pace to all things in my life...some may say it's boring...but not for me!....i say, hey,at least i still have my sanity....so far...lol.
xoxo
Sunday, January 6, 2013
chase a million dreams....
I was listening to a friend tell me all his troubles today, and how he felt like a total failure in life....he's really down and being tough on himself because he didn't succeed at a new venture he was taking on...He shall remain nameless to protect him!...I'm a GREAT friend aren't i?..
Anyway...he got me to thinking about how many times in life you have these HUGE fairytale dreams that you get sooooo excited about and you really believe in...you set aside everything else in life and nothing exists but this dream you have for your life...sure you know it's probably unattainable,it's immature,it's fairytale-ish...but you start to work toward your goal for a few years...and you spend several years of your life working toward that dream.....for nothing.
something goes wrong,the money runs out,the path you have taken for yourself starts to look bleak....and you then realize your dream is unattainable...not meant to be....and you sit back and think about the fact of all the years you have devoted to your goals/dreams and the money/thoughts/time you have wasted...you start thinking how stupid was i? what was i thinking?!...but at least you tried your best to chase it!
It's really easy to get down in the dumps and be very critical of yourself when things don't go as you wished for your life....But i think that your learn from each experience in your life...you have to go through all the mistakes,let downs.....for a reason....you're NOT a failure.
i think all those things shape you as a person....everything happens for a reason is my motto.....just because you don't succeed at things you dream about,doesn't mean you have to give up!.....We all have different gifts/talents/personalities we are blessed with....they may not be attention getting or that big of a deal...but while chasing dreams that never will be you sometimes discover other things you are great at that can be a blessing to the world and maybe change someone's life for the better.
Oh! Who cares!!!? if one dream doesn't work out?......chase another and another!....there's a million you could chase.
xoxo
Anyway...he got me to thinking about how many times in life you have these HUGE fairytale dreams that you get sooooo excited about and you really believe in...you set aside everything else in life and nothing exists but this dream you have for your life...sure you know it's probably unattainable,it's immature,it's fairytale-ish...but you start to work toward your goal for a few years...and you spend several years of your life working toward that dream.....for nothing.
something goes wrong,the money runs out,the path you have taken for yourself starts to look bleak....and you then realize your dream is unattainable...not meant to be....and you sit back and think about the fact of all the years you have devoted to your goals/dreams and the money/thoughts/time you have wasted...you start thinking how stupid was i? what was i thinking?!...but at least you tried your best to chase it!
It's really easy to get down in the dumps and be very critical of yourself when things don't go as you wished for your life....But i think that your learn from each experience in your life...you have to go through all the mistakes,let downs.....for a reason....you're NOT a failure.
i think all those things shape you as a person....everything happens for a reason is my motto.....just because you don't succeed at things you dream about,doesn't mean you have to give up!.....We all have different gifts/talents/personalities we are blessed with....they may not be attention getting or that big of a deal...but while chasing dreams that never will be you sometimes discover other things you are great at that can be a blessing to the world and maybe change someone's life for the better.
Oh! Who cares!!!? if one dream doesn't work out?......chase another and another!....there's a million you could chase.
xoxo
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
get a new calendar.....
The snow/ice has finally melted and i ventured out to do some shopping....
I always have to have a new calendar for the new year so i can keep myself on track and know the date and time,and write down important events on it...instead of having to look at my phone for the answer every morning!...lol.....AND because of the snowstorm i ended up calendar-less.....After having my Grandma call me this morning and ask me the day/date and us discussing the fact that neither her or me had a 2013 calendar....well that was enough of the ridiculousness!....
Not too picky on a calendar...i'm more of a scenic pictures girl..soooooo i found this one cheap for $5 at Walmart....I'm not going to spend $17 on a calendar...so this cheap one works and it was nature so there ya go....(the bank gave Grandma a calendar today she told me an hour ago...haha!)
AND...the 1st Bath and Body Works purchase of 2013 for me is:SnowBerry!
LOL..yes, i know i'm a sad nerd.....i got the shower gel....smells really good...think i'm saving it for New Mexico.
also had lunch with friends and discussed the fact that it would be easy to plastic wrap Steven's truck just for stealing french fries...that is so evil Steven...how could you?...haha!!! and we were all laughing so hard at Amy yelling:"Steven stole my taters!"....Bwahaha!!!...god it was funny..you had to be there...she's a riot.
yes we're all nerds.
Nite nite!
I always have to have a new calendar for the new year so i can keep myself on track and know the date and time,and write down important events on it...instead of having to look at my phone for the answer every morning!...lol.....AND because of the snowstorm i ended up calendar-less.....After having my Grandma call me this morning and ask me the day/date and us discussing the fact that neither her or me had a 2013 calendar....well that was enough of the ridiculousness!....
Not too picky on a calendar...i'm more of a scenic pictures girl..soooooo i found this one cheap for $5 at Walmart....I'm not going to spend $17 on a calendar...so this cheap one works and it was nature so there ya go....(the bank gave Grandma a calendar today she told me an hour ago...haha!)
LOL..yes, i know i'm a sad nerd.....i got the shower gel....smells really good...think i'm saving it for New Mexico.
also had lunch with friends and discussed the fact that it would be easy to plastic wrap Steven's truck just for stealing french fries...that is so evil Steven...how could you?...haha!!! and we were all laughing so hard at Amy yelling:"Steven stole my taters!"....Bwahaha!!!...god it was funny..you had to be there...she's a riot.
yes we're all nerds.
Nite nite!
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