i love music.....

I just really wanna thank everybody for what they did for me yesterday..I love you all and a million billion hugs from me to you...because I was getting sick and feeling really bad...you have saved my life!!!....I really appreciate that I didn't know what to do!!! I am so THANKFUL for you all!!! thank you Daddy.

I really love music I always have....I like all kinds of songs and I like to try to figure out what the song means..what the lyrics are saying...because they all tell a story about something in life...but some songs I just don't like and I just don't like the type of music or the singers....everybody's different in their favorite types of music and singers....

I'd like to say I like all kinds of music but I just really don't like all kinds...I have my favorites and that's how everyone is I suppose....I like to sing too and everyone has always said that I am a good singer...but I don't know if  I am really...I'm not gonna brag on myself or anything like that..

something I like to do is sing karaoke someday i'll buy a karaoke machine....you always have to find your key and learn the song first and practice makes perfect...I have years of practice singing and I've never had a voice lesson but if you wanna sing you should try it and learn the songs first and take voice lessons if you want to..but I've never had a voice lesson at all...so I guess I am blessed with a good singing voice....

you should pick out a few songs and listen to them on a mp3 player or ipod and sing along then go buy the karaoke audio track music to learn it...then sing it with or without the music first then keep singing along til it sounds almost like the real song...just be on key and everything...I think I could teach some people to sing karaoke..i just have to learn the song first myself if I don't know it...

I just like to sing because it makes me feel better when I'm scared and stressed out...yes, I'm a nerd..lol

j.

it's ok....

It just breaks my heart when I can't see people I love because I miss them so much...I miss so many people in my life and I start to cry about it and I cry a while then I start to laugh when I think about something silly they say or do....because I know I can't see them it just hurts me to know I can't see them for a while..

I need so many people in my life right now and I know I can't be around them or see them because they are busy in their lives with other things and I'm not able to be around them at all...somedays I wish I could just get in a car and go see them and just hug them and tell them how much I miss them and I love them...

I miss some of the people in my family too because I'm not able to see them because they are so busy and I miss my brother, cousins, uncle B. and my Dad...also....it's gonna be ok I just miss them a lot and I wish I could see them all the time...I just get upset about things like that and I miss my friends soooooo much because they are all busy too.

everything will be ok.

letter to a friend....

I have this friend that I have been friends with since I was in high school...I haven't been able to see her in a while and I know she's probably busy with her work and I hope she's doing just fine...because I miss her and her mother and little brother and sister....

I hope everything is ok with them because I've been busy helping take care of my grandparents....I know she went through the same thing and she would understand....

so if you ever see this accidentally just know I miss you all and I think about you all the time and I am praying for you.....because sometimes we worry for no reason....God makes all things possible....

I know you're too busy to call me but I just wanna tell you everything will be ok..

I miss my other friends S. and K. hope you will see this too.
j.

i love cowboy stuff....

Something happened yesterday to one of my baby calves and I got upset over it but now I'm fine..it's just the cattle business and I know I have to "Cowgirl up" to be strong over this kinda stuff....I have to laugh about the things I get so upset about and just go on...

I even have a sign in my room that says "Cowgirl Up" and I bought that to remember that I need to be like my Dad when I get scared or upset because for a long time he had this sign on his back window of his truck that said "Cowboy Up" in white letters...and I bought that decoration that says "Cowgirl Up" for my bedroom because I was real sick with my kidney infection for quite a while and I had to stay in bed a lot so when I kept getting sick I would look at that decoration and remember to be tough about being sick and scared because it reminded me of my DadChad.....and it worked!!!

I stopped being scared and worried the whole time, because I would look at that decoration and I would remember to stay strong, be tough, and not be afraid because I wasn't able to see him all the time for a while and I missed him.

so everytime I looked at that sign I would think of my Dad and know I was going to be ok...I love him more than anything in this world for saving my life....because he has.....I will always take care of him too.....just like my great grandma did....

anyway, been wanting to watch some cowboy movies.

tired of stupid mouthy people from my hillbilly hometown..yawn...

all the while they mouth at me, lie about me, I laugh because I just get that much tougher like my Dad and all the other cowboys in my family....All my guy cousins and those girl cousins who care about me (my Favorite cousin A.W.T.(that I annoyed the other day on the phone because I was spooked) and my Uncles B. and  L....and my grandparents...because I think of them and I know it's ok to be tough....

so thanks for talking to me A.W.T. because I'm not scared anymore and I hope you know that I love you.....and i appreciate you too!!! I'm ok...I hope....lol.

about this cowboy movie stuff I've been wanting to watch, I really need to find a good cowboy movie an old one or a new one don't matter because that's my favorite kinda movie to watch is old western like Gene Autry and Roy Rogers.....and I think i'd like all the new ones too....so I need to find some of those to watch with my Dad and other family and friends....

I haven't had time to watch many movies, but maybe I will have time to catch up on all that stuff sometime because right now my life has too much crap in it...I wanted to see one in the theater a while ago but didn't get to....and there's other movies I'd like to see but I just haven't had time.

I think I saw my Dad yesterday...I think that was that silly!!!...I miss him and I love him..hope to see you soon Dad.

hugs!!!

healthy and pretty...........

I've been thinking a lot about wearing makeup...and I've decided that maybe I just don't need to wear much makeup at all or any makeup for that matter..maybe just a little foundation and mascara.....

Wearing makeup can be fun and everything but putting makeup on isn't going to make you any more pretty...what makes you pretty is how you treat people nice and respect them, and how you live your life the right way following God or whatever spirituality you have, and how you feel about yourself is what makes you pretty....if you have low self esteem all the time you feel ugly and do ugly things...so it's all about how you feel and live your life that affects you being pretty...

so if you feel down about yourself all the time you feel ugly and feel that you should be wearing makeup to be this pretty person that you think is pretty on a magazine cover or in a movie...that's not real stuff....just because you think you have to look like someone or something to feel pretty isn't a good thing to be thinking about.....being pretty isn't about wearing some expensive lipstick or makeup that is $100 a bottle or anything like that....or plastic surgery you don't need any!!!...because you don't need all that to be pretty to the people who love you...because the people who love you will love you no matter what even if you have a weight issue or you are a silly old mess they will love you anyway...because I love people who I love, no matter what and that's all that matters...

it doesn't matter what you look like it's all about how you feel about yourself....I know I'm pretty without makeup I don't worry all the time about my weight...because I don't give a hoot owl about it... 

People tell me all the time I am a very pretty sweet girl and I know I am, and i don't act like a snob...I just eat to be healthy and sure I know I need to workout more I just can't right now but I will be able to pretty soon I'm hoping....I don't have a weight problem or anything like that...I just get to feeling like a mess sometimes like everyone does.....

there are a lot of healthy things to have at breakfast and dinner and I like a lot of them...but not everybody has to like the same healthy stuff all the time...because nobody likes the same stuff at dinner or whatever..everybody's got different things that they like that are healthy...

I like to go walking...but I really need to get in a gym.....but who cares about that right now...the timing isn't right.....yet.

so who cares about makeup, plastic surgery or weight..because I don't...I'm pretty and healthy already..and I am confident and comfortable with myself and my life..

another thing is i don't need a bunch of crap to buy all the time and waste my money on either..all those material things buy you is sadness and credit card debt you WILL NEVER PAY OFF they own your soul from the minute you sign that dotted line...

it's just a bunch of crap to hoard up and throw around and act like you have a lot of money when you will never be happy with crap you buy you only ruin your life with material things because they aren't real and never will be..greed will ruin your life and everything in it..

I've NEVER had a credit card in my life and I don't owe anything on any bills because I am happy without all that crapola....

anyways....somebody told me the other day I look identical to my DadChad....we look so much alike they can't tell who is who we look so much like each other..I think that's so sweet!!!

a hug from me to you.