I found this version on youtube!...it's the exact one we danced to....a favorite song of mine in the summer...love it!
Danced to this song last night sitting on the front porch at 9pm at night with all my friends drinking black berry wine after swimming!..we kept laughing and giggling non-stop, dancing barefoot, half-awake, and still trying to cool down from the heat of the day...yes,we are crazy...LOL....
It was so much fun that i wish everyone could have been there, it would have made them laugh too.....nights like that are so....just....home. ;)
you have to go outside super early morning or late at night to get relief from the heat...it's killer...you do everything early or late.....and that pool of mine is priceless..night swims are the big thing right now..you don't have to use sunscreen!...haha...moon screen?...bwahaha!..
i sleep best at night after i cool off in it for 3 hours....but i like early morning and late night the best..it's still and quiet..only thing awake is me, crickets, the moon & stars, & coyotes howling...lol...i stare at the clouds and moon/stars in the sky....and the cool night winds blowing on your face/skin and around the trees is comforting...ahh....
work has to be done early and it makes you so tired..but i think 112 degrees heat in general makes you exhausted...
Ambrose came through on his promise of giving us a few more bottles of his homemade blackberry wine....we gave him some blackberries we picked in return.....good trade-off!
We wanted to make a blackberry cobbler(pie) like Grandma makes BUT everyone who lives in Oklahoma/Texas knows that in the summer you DO NOT turn on the oven at all!...Way too hot and heats up the house fast.....but hey, you can't beat that blackberry wine...ever......we got 5 bottles for all those berries we gave him...haha...
"How do you like your wine these days?"....FROZEN.....joking...in this hot 112 degrees you want everything chilled perfectly....
Blackberry wine you are awesome....bwahaha!
xoxo
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Burn Ban!!!!!
All the firework stand owners need to stop whining and realize that even though they lost money it's the best thing to do.It's not worth anyone losing their homes over...too many people have already lost homes in fires this week....I'm not a big fan of firework displays really....kinda over rated....they are beautiful and cool...but that's about it....
LOL....that woman that works in the post office was whining yesterday to another worker that nobody likes her....I was standing in line and i wanted to yell out:" You really don't know why nobody likes you?!...it's because you bite everybody's head off if they even ask you for a book of stamps!..You're a mega-B*tch!...duh! ".....bwahaha!.....but.....i could NEVER say that to anybody..that would be mean and i could never be mean to anyone no matter how hard i try....lol....but i soooo wanted to yell that out.....
When she was saying all that, and we were standing in line, i was fighting back laughter and Sarah started laughing and we tried hard to NOT bust out laughing at what she was trying to figure out....i fought back giggles and my eyes got teary!...haha!......how could that woman NOT know why nobody likes her?...it's easy, if you're a b*tch to everyone and treat them like crap, you're not gonna have anyone who can tolerate you or like you....just a clue...that might have something to do with it.
i was just waiting for some random person to ask why i was almost crying in the post office and i was gonna have to say something like:"I don't know? I must have a piece of tumbleweed in my eye!" OR" OMG! look at this electric bill!" haha!..which that electric bill is probably really gonna make me cry when it gets here...... ;(
i have a tough time fighting the giggles and hiding them....
seriously can we work in our bathing suits today?...
112 degree hot Kisses everyone!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
fire department fundraiser......
2nd place Friday & Saturday at the rodeo barrel racing.....i'm not into trying to be #1 or anything..i don't like competitions..it's just so i can prove things to myself....It was hot all weekend...they had water misters spraying above the crowds sitting in the seats, to kinda cool them down...still lots of people there all weekend....
i just drink water all the time so i won't get dehydrated...plus it's good for my kidneys.....everybody else was getting snow cones..even pickle juice snow cones...bleh...i love pickles but not in snow cone form....eww...not gonna try that one....
Uncle Pete, Diego, Dad, Travis, Eli, Dusty,Jeff all team roped at the rodeo...they did good....so many competing last night.....Guys really like to get into the team roping.....not too many brave enough to bull ride but Dad did do the wild horse riding.....he got 2nd....it's always kinda scary when he does that but he breaks horses for people all the time, so it's the same thing pretty much....
They had a fan donation going to donate fans to give out to needy people who needed them...i feel really sad for those people in this heat...good grief...we just found out a few days ago what it's like to be without air conditioner...and fans didn't help much!....i just think about all the people suffering in their homes this summer from the 100's degrees....all the old people...i wish i could help everyone...i can't, but every little bit helps out..we took 3 fans and donated....wish they could give out air conditioners to everyone. ;(
I feel sad for people...you should always be grateful for every good thing in your life and appreciate it...so what if you don't have the best of everything?...be thankful for what you do have...because so many people don't even have that much...it seems so easy i think for people to see all the extravagances that others have, and feel jealous...but why?...i never have...it's all just un needed extra chaotic junk in your life...being minimal is more...you need to be happy/thankful for what you do have......
material things/money don't matter to me..i've always thought a quiet porch, a rainy day, an old guitar, and a sunset are better than anything.....makes me happy...
going to the fire department fundraiser today at noon in town with my family to help raise money for the firefighters expenses...they are having a huge fish fry dinner & auction......those fire fighters are irreplaceable in these desolate areas we all live in.....especially with this drought going on....they need to be thanked.
off to work.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Creepy-Crawlies.....eww...
About to go get in bed and watch tv....i just got out of the pool....been in there 2 hours since we got home for the day........been a long,long, hot day...
![]()
Didn't sleep to good last night after seeing a scorpion run across my bed!!!!
How do those stupid things get in the house?!...AND WHY?!!!..I was soooo scared all night that it was gonna come back and sting me...i never found it!....i think it ran under my bed....
Everytime i think about scorpions/black water bugs/spiders..i get a case of the creepies!....they're so gross...stay away from me...eek!...even bugs like to swim...my pool is full of them too....i get the net and get them outta there...annoying.
Guess i should spray bug spray around the house tomorrow outside around the edges?...that might help...we even saw a brown recluse spider(fiddle-backs) yikes!.....they are "baddies" too......i don't wanna be stung or bit!
In other news of my life...lol....I paid my entry fee today for another rodeo this weekend----in barrel racing again...a few other women have been Team Penning and Team Roping...but.....i don't know yet..i'm still a little bit unsure of myself in those categories enough to compete in them.....So right now just barrel racing...we'll see.
I wasn't quite sure that i even wanted to go rodeo-ing this weekend, because it's gonna be too hot and we've been busy working so much.....Frankly, i'm just tired my dear!....haha...i am.....
going to buy more paint tomorrow for house exterior....painting early mornings might be a wise idea?....right?...I think i should just throw down $100 on the counter and ask them to whip up $100 worth of paint buckets for me?...nah...too harsh that early in the morning for the paint guy at the hardware store....i think he has a hard time just staying awake that early.....lol
~nite-nite.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
TV really just sucks.....Downgrade.
Already up and at 'em this morning...we gotta try and get some work done before it gets HOT again....Yesterday wasn't too hot it was 90 degrees...but today and the rest the week we go right back to the upper 100's......lol...
There's a few guys stopping by today to buy some cows and we have to get them rounded-up and corralled before 8am....yeah, BEFORE 8am!....Cows aren't too hard to get penned up...it's those rambunctious baby cows that are hard to get to follow their mamas into the corral!....haha....They're so cute and so happy...they don't pay attention to anything and do what they wanna do..always the opposite of what you need them to do...which can really draw your day out into a long, never-ending tiresome day......
We mainly have Herefords and a few longhorns...Grandpa has sold registered Herefords for ages.....he says they are the best cattle in this business...
It's best to try and keep yourself cool in this weather when you have to work in it...i tie a blue handkerchief around my neck that is frozen in the freezer before i go out to work in the heat...it helps..it's twisted and frozen....kinda like a necklace....haha..works though....and i NEVER eat sugar on these days..mainly in the mornings i might have strawberries/blackberries or something for breakfast...because sugar will make you hot in the 100+ heat.....
Pool is finally filled up all the way.....i swam in it a few hours yesterday after working...it was really nice and the floating chair?....A+.....lol...really like it....you can sleep in it and float....haha.
I must have been extra tired yesterday, i fell asleep at 6pm and slept until now...wow.
Among other nonsense-ical random things...we downgraded our satellite tv package...we don't watch tv much anyhow, so why pay for stuff you don't watch?...save money..tv sucks for the most part anyhow.
We still have EncoreWesterns though and 100+ channels so we are doing ok....i suppose...our bill should be about $50/month now i calculated..instead of $130 we have been paying!..we may downgrade further if we can still get our cowboy channel....
honestly, all we pretty much watch when we do watch tv is Encore Westerns, locals, Weather channel,AMC,HGTV, DIY...that's it..if they would let you choose the channels you only want and let you pay for & have only those you have chosen, would be GREAT...but it doesn't work that way...it wouldn't make BIG money for a BIG business...that tv stuff is all to overpriced and crappy anyway....
i'd rather be working or outside doing something worthwhile, than sitting on the couch watching over rated/boring/crappy tv.....I just don't like any of those stupid reality shows, i don't care about those overpaid, self-absorbed people i don't know or care about's lives on those shows.....BORING...
give me a good ol' cowboy show, or old movie with Humphrey Bogart(i love him) anytime on the tv, and i'm happy...i love old stuff better than this crap i've had to grow up with!....i feel like an old soul....lol...we of the younger generation have been cheated by tv...sucks...but that's just my opinion, what do i know?..i'm just a silly girl from Oklahoma..what i like, other people don't, everybody's different...
better go..work to be done.
There's a few guys stopping by today to buy some cows and we have to get them rounded-up and corralled before 8am....yeah, BEFORE 8am!....Cows aren't too hard to get penned up...it's those rambunctious baby cows that are hard to get to follow their mamas into the corral!....haha....They're so cute and so happy...they don't pay attention to anything and do what they wanna do..always the opposite of what you need them to do...which can really draw your day out into a long, never-ending tiresome day......
We mainly have Herefords and a few longhorns...Grandpa has sold registered Herefords for ages.....he says they are the best cattle in this business...
It's best to try and keep yourself cool in this weather when you have to work in it...i tie a blue handkerchief around my neck that is frozen in the freezer before i go out to work in the heat...it helps..it's twisted and frozen....kinda like a necklace....haha..works though....and i NEVER eat sugar on these days..mainly in the mornings i might have strawberries/blackberries or something for breakfast...because sugar will make you hot in the 100+ heat.....
Pool is finally filled up all the way.....i swam in it a few hours yesterday after working...it was really nice and the floating chair?....A+.....lol...really like it....you can sleep in it and float....haha.
I must have been extra tired yesterday, i fell asleep at 6pm and slept until now...wow.
Among other nonsense-ical random things...we downgraded our satellite tv package...we don't watch tv much anyhow, so why pay for stuff you don't watch?...save money..tv sucks for the most part anyhow.
We still have EncoreWesterns though and 100+ channels so we are doing ok....i suppose...our bill should be about $50/month now i calculated..instead of $130 we have been paying!..we may downgrade further if we can still get our cowboy channel....
honestly, all we pretty much watch when we do watch tv is Encore Westerns, locals, Weather channel,AMC,HGTV, DIY...that's it..if they would let you choose the channels you only want and let you pay for & have only those you have chosen, would be GREAT...but it doesn't work that way...it wouldn't make BIG money for a BIG business...that tv stuff is all to overpriced and crappy anyway....
i'd rather be working or outside doing something worthwhile, than sitting on the couch watching over rated/boring/crappy tv.....I just don't like any of those stupid reality shows, i don't care about those overpaid, self-absorbed people i don't know or care about's lives on those shows.....BORING...
give me a good ol' cowboy show, or old movie with Humphrey Bogart(i love him) anytime on the tv, and i'm happy...i love old stuff better than this crap i've had to grow up with!....i feel like an old soul....lol...we of the younger generation have been cheated by tv...sucks...but that's just my opinion, what do i know?..i'm just a silly girl from Oklahoma..what i like, other people don't, everybody's different...
better go..work to be done.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Tumbleweeds Everywhere!!!!..................
Still listening to Reckless Kelly..i'm on a roll....lol... i learned to play this song on my guitar last night...and i'm gonna work on it more later this evening...listened to this cd on my ipod last night and this song is so great it made me calm and sleepy...it's an awesome song!..found this video someone made for it...
also i'm in love with "Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah"...can't stop singing it...great song..although this video i found,you can't understand the words....google them!..i already know the words Travis!...lol..
also i'm in love with "Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah"...can't stop singing it...great song..although this video i found,you can't understand the words....google them!..i already know the words Travis!...lol..
Been working all day...it's hot & i'm tired....we had to move some cows & horses over to other pasture today to get to water....2 ponds are drying up, so they had to be loaded up & driven to water...we corralled them by horseback then trailered them....very early this morning...it's taken all day to get fences fixed, and lead them to water down the rocks/hills....but i love my job...i'm lucky to get to have this as a job..thanks Grandpa!....sure beats a stuffy old boring city/office job!...
Of course the wind is STILL blowing like crazy...There are officially tumbleweeds EVERYWHERE!..and i'm not joking...my pool likes 1ft being totally filled up, and today it was absolutely full of tumbleweeds!..they are in the pool, yard, road, fence line..one even blew into the truck today when the door was open...bwahaha!...that's seriously messed up....where do they all come from?!.....me & Sarah got too hot today i guess, and we made up a stupid song about tumbleweeds...it was pretty good...haha!...it was really funny for some reason...lol....we should paint them and let them tumble around or something...ohh..let's glitter them!...haha....
finally got to pick tomatoes out of the garden...there's quite a few..pretty and red...it's not summer unless you grow tomatoes....i like to slice them and put a little salt on them.....we dug up the potato plants and threw them over the fence...that's too much craziness....too many!....lol.
better get off this thing..there's bad weather blowing in looks like...clouds are building..
xoxo
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Drought,110 degees, & wind GO AWAY!!.......
thank god that guy was available to fix it...he had a small amount of time between working that he scheduled us in....he said everybody's air conditioners are messing up! it's no wonder with this drought/heat!...he got it fixed for us by 4pm....
we kept our fingers crossed it would work..i just kept saying:"If it will, it will, if it won't, it won't."
It was so hot in the house we almost got sick...it was 110 degrees and soooo hot, things like jello would melt just sitting on the table!...Me & Sarah were both feeling very nauseous and light-headed..we kept drinking water and keeping the fans all going and man, it didn't work at all.....we kept the pets cool in the garage and outside with water and a water hose.....
Got 3rd at the rodeo last night barrel racing....it was sooooo freaking hot and i was tired...the wind kept on blowing....but everybody turned up for it again....big crowd.....Kinda happy i'm not competing tonight...i'm just tired...
yep..today is Father's Day....we're going to go have dinner with Dad..somewheres..lol.....probably steak or something like that he likes...We gave him the gifts we bought him an hour ago...it's a pale blue pearl-snap shirt,new guitar strings, and we got him some cigars that he likes...Mark got them for us and we paid him...he ordered them......
guess he liked everything...he started crying a little bit, and gave us both a hug...said:"Aww, you didn't have to get me anything!...Thank you girls. I love you so much!"
We got grandpa a shirt and a new tie.....blue and brown...he loved them... ;)
~~~~I wonder,all the men that we look to in our family as heros and look to for guidance in life...i wonder who they look to for all those things?..who's their heros and is it hard to stay this strong permanent hero/figure to all of us?.....
~~~~i mean, how do they stay so tough 24/7?...do they ever feel like it's a burden having to be all those things for us?...protecting us, watching over us, taking care of us,caring about us,advising us?.....i've always wondered that...you know they gotta get annoyed by us silly girls most days...right?....if not, how do they not?...lol...because we can be pretty annoying at times i know....and they have a very low tolerance for bull*hit!...haha!
anyhow, however or whatever...i'm thankful to have them in my life and i love all of them.
~Happy Father's Day!~ to all Dads!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
2nd place and NO air conditioner......
Listening to this....Willy B..has a great voice.
Well the rodeo was really good & fun...I got 2nd place barrel racing..so i'm happy with that.Whole town and more turned up for it despite the 112 degrees and blowing dust...Tim & Jenny showed up!..even though they almost got lost getting all the way out here...they met everybody and had fun at the bar last night.....Tim said at the bar:" Damn...you guys know how to party out this way!...I'm ready to move!"...LOL...Jenny started laughing and she was yelling:"OK..let's look for a house tomorrow!"...haha....
Dusty kept trying to spray everybody with a water hose outside last night and then he was putting ice down everybody's shirts.....it was good though..kinda relief...from all the hot wind & dust everywhere.....I told Dusty he has an appropriate perfect name for living here...Dusty....haha..dust is apart of life here....nerd!
When i say 112 degrees i'm NOT joking..that's how hot it really has been.....We're in a drought and the weatherman said we are having desert-like conditions here in W/SW Oklahoma!.....I just laughed.....oh well more crap to deal with....
When we got home this morning from the after-rodeo party at the bar, we discovered our air conditioner quit again!!!!..* i'm gonna lose my mind, laughter goes here*....yikes...it is so freaking hot....it's 90 degrees and it's 4am!....i don't know how we are gonna hold-up in 112 degrees during the day..oh nooooo!.......we need a new one, but are too independent to ever let Grandpa or anybody else buy us a $10,000 all new air conditioning set-up that we were priced.....tough it out!
Suppose we could seek out places that have air conditioner and stay the night..like Grandparents house?...but we're way too independent for that even..i'm not asking anyone for anything....EVER.
Just wait til i get the pool all filled up...we can sleep on those float-beds at night!..perfect..every night this heat lasts..way til august....lol....til i fall off and drown in my sleep, right?....
anyway, oh well..it's gonna be one hell of a tough ride this summer..trying to keep cool..unless we figure something out..but in the mean time, i'll keep on telling myself:"You can do this Julia, You can survive 122222degrees! yes you can!"....bwahahaha...god....this is craziness!..hopefully we will survive.....uh.....right?....keep drinking water.
rodeo tonight and tomorrow night...but i'm only competing tonight..only paid entry fees for tonight..not sunday...
xoxo
Friday, June 17, 2011
Rodeo tonight & this weekend...........
The progress on the pool is kinda at a standstill...we got it moved back behind the house BUT now the wind is blowing like crazy!...grr!..makes me so mad...we had a weird thunderstorm, lightning, no rain, wind storm last night that blew threw 80mile per/hr winds!...my pool already has about a foot of water in it and the wind flopped it all around and filled it with DIRT and many, many bugs, leaves... ;(
We watched out the back porch last nigh as it screwed all our hard work up....i got mad:" Why do we even try?! seriously, it's always the weather or hillbilly kinfolks meddling in EVERYTHING we all try to do!"...never fails...oh well....maybe it won't damage it...*fingers crossed*
I HATE OKLAHOMA WIND STORMS THAT NEVER STOP.
Got a call from the people i met in OKC while house sitting(aunt's neighbors, my tornado surviving compadres..haha)Tim & Jenny....they invited me up to hang out this weekend..but i'm barrel racing in the rodeo this weekend.....they wanted to drive way out here and see the rodeo(they're city people..lol) so i fed-ex'd them rodeo tickets....They have never been to a rodeo before! Can you believe that?....
They're super sweet and nice....it was thoughtful they invited me up so i invited them to the rodeo....i'm barrel racing this weekend...i'm kinda nervous!..it starts at 7pm but you gotta be there at 6:30pm to get a good seat i told them....lol..just hope they don't get lost....
My horse Daisy is a good barrel horse...Freckles..not so much....doesn't get the whole racing thing yet..still too young i think....hope it cools down a little so i can practice before tonight....i wish the wind would STOP blowing dust..at this rate the rodeo is gonna be 112 degrees and dusty...oh boy...not good.
Too cute...little boy at the snowcone shack wanted to buy me a snowcone yesterday!...lol...i didn't know him and he goes;"Can i buy you a snowcone?" ...i told him:"Oh, thanks you're sweet! but i better buy my own"..his mom goes:"Just let him...he wants to buy you one"...so i told him:"Ok, only if you let me buy you one then!"....he smiled real big:"OK!"...haha...that was super sweet...
ok weird dream so i won't forget it...me standing on a line on the floor..a taped down line and then an X taped on the floor.....i'd stand then move and the tape was colored..and something weird about wearing a suit a tailored suit/fitted suit...weird..What the hell?! tape on the floor, a suit??!?!...it went over and over in my mind...must be those allergy pills...whatever.
gotta go back to the sale barn in an hour after lunch and help out...
Kisses!
We watched out the back porch last nigh as it screwed all our hard work up....i got mad:" Why do we even try?! seriously, it's always the weather or hillbilly kinfolks meddling in EVERYTHING we all try to do!"...never fails...oh well....maybe it won't damage it...*fingers crossed*
I HATE OKLAHOMA WIND STORMS THAT NEVER STOP.
Got a call from the people i met in OKC while house sitting(aunt's neighbors, my tornado surviving compadres..haha)Tim & Jenny....they invited me up to hang out this weekend..but i'm barrel racing in the rodeo this weekend.....they wanted to drive way out here and see the rodeo(they're city people..lol) so i fed-ex'd them rodeo tickets....They have never been to a rodeo before! Can you believe that?....
They're super sweet and nice....it was thoughtful they invited me up so i invited them to the rodeo....i'm barrel racing this weekend...i'm kinda nervous!..it starts at 7pm but you gotta be there at 6:30pm to get a good seat i told them....lol..just hope they don't get lost....
My horse Daisy is a good barrel horse...Freckles..not so much....doesn't get the whole racing thing yet..still too young i think....hope it cools down a little so i can practice before tonight....i wish the wind would STOP blowing dust..at this rate the rodeo is gonna be 112 degrees and dusty...oh boy...not good.
Too cute...little boy at the snowcone shack wanted to buy me a snowcone yesterday!...lol...i didn't know him and he goes;"Can i buy you a snowcone?" ...i told him:"Oh, thanks you're sweet! but i better buy my own"..his mom goes:"Just let him...he wants to buy you one"...so i told him:"Ok, only if you let me buy you one then!"....he smiled real big:"OK!"...haha...that was super sweet...
ok weird dream so i won't forget it...me standing on a line on the floor..a taped down line and then an X taped on the floor.....i'd stand then move and the tape was colored..and something weird about wearing a suit a tailored suit/fitted suit...weird..What the hell?! tape on the floor, a suit??!?!...it went over and over in my mind...must be those allergy pills...whatever.
gotta go back to the sale barn in an hour after lunch and help out...
Kisses!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
rubber snakes in a pool.....
Lots of stuff i gotta do today...
Somebody got into our pool sunday night and got footprints all over the side of it and the bottom of the pool....somebody with a big foot...it's a guy's foot i can tell..or a sasquatch!..lmao!..so we don't really know who's it was....that must be why the dogs were barking.....they must be brave to walk all the way up the drive, back to the pool like that from the road..we live so far out in the country too, so it's gotta be somebody nearby....well...they can't do that anymore because we got up early today and let ALL the water out of the pool...haha!..sorry suckers!
I'm so hacked that we had to do that, with it being 109 degrees all week! but it needed moved anyway..being that it was so unlevel and all....sooooo after it fully drains we are moving it back directly behind the house....so if anybody attempts to get in it, we can turn the back porch light on and scare the hell out of them! Bwahahaha!...LOL....i should pop off a few gunshots in the air if i catch them!....haha...seriously though ?......i think it might be Frankie or Harrell and i don't even wanna know what one of them might do in our pool alone....GROSS....
Tomorrow morning early we'll have to get somebody to help us get it moved and bring a leveler....i'm sure know-it-all will help us....*eyeroll* since he's grouched so much about it being unlevel..why does he care?....whatever.
We went to Mark's inground pool at his house..monday and swam...we bought a lot of plastic rubber snakes at the store...lol..we got all black ones to look like water moxcasins...we bought enough to look like a nest of snakes...so after we left his house monday night we weighted them down on the deep end of his pool with fishing weights, and threw them in....HAHA!...we always play jokes on him....
so yesterday we went back to swim and he didn't say anything about it....he goes:"Hey, girls will you help me clean out that debris filter right there?" so we both leaned over by it and he pushed us in the pool...and threw those rubber snakes at us....lol...we kept laughing...he was telling everybody about us doing that...he said:" I had to kick their butts in the pool for that prank." He admitted that, at first, he thought they were real snakes! LOL...
anyways...other things i gotta do today is try and load some more dirt up on the truck to take to my dog's grave..something has been digging up his grave we discovered this morning!...it made me cry and upset..it really bothers me..it's coyotes or panthers doing it....big paw prints...i don't wanna deal with that or see it, but i have to face that and get it dealt with...cowgirl up!....NO crying and being a big baby about it...
Then at 3pm today i have to take my aunt to a Dr. appointment for a checkup....her car is in the shop..i think i'll go drive around town or to a store while she's at her appointment..too freaking HOT to sit in the car and wait..and i hate sitting in waiting rooms...booooring.
oh man..i don't wanna have to wait another 4 days to get that pool set up and filled with water!..not when it's gonna be killer hot everyday this week!...oh well...it'll get done..have patience...i'm not whining! ;)
Somebody got into our pool sunday night and got footprints all over the side of it and the bottom of the pool....somebody with a big foot...it's a guy's foot i can tell..or a sasquatch!..lmao!..so we don't really know who's it was....that must be why the dogs were barking.....they must be brave to walk all the way up the drive, back to the pool like that from the road..we live so far out in the country too, so it's gotta be somebody nearby....well...they can't do that anymore because we got up early today and let ALL the water out of the pool...haha!..sorry suckers!
I'm so hacked that we had to do that, with it being 109 degrees all week! but it needed moved anyway..being that it was so unlevel and all....sooooo after it fully drains we are moving it back directly behind the house....so if anybody attempts to get in it, we can turn the back porch light on and scare the hell out of them! Bwahahaha!...LOL....i should pop off a few gunshots in the air if i catch them!....haha...seriously though ?......i think it might be Frankie or Harrell and i don't even wanna know what one of them might do in our pool alone....GROSS....
Tomorrow morning early we'll have to get somebody to help us get it moved and bring a leveler....i'm sure know-it-all will help us....*eyeroll* since he's grouched so much about it being unlevel..why does he care?....whatever.
We went to Mark's inground pool at his house..monday and swam...we bought a lot of plastic rubber snakes at the store...lol..we got all black ones to look like water moxcasins...we bought enough to look like a nest of snakes...so after we left his house monday night we weighted them down on the deep end of his pool with fishing weights, and threw them in....HAHA!...we always play jokes on him....
so yesterday we went back to swim and he didn't say anything about it....he goes:"Hey, girls will you help me clean out that debris filter right there?" so we both leaned over by it and he pushed us in the pool...and threw those rubber snakes at us....lol...we kept laughing...he was telling everybody about us doing that...he said:" I had to kick their butts in the pool for that prank." He admitted that, at first, he thought they were real snakes! LOL...
anyways...other things i gotta do today is try and load some more dirt up on the truck to take to my dog's grave..something has been digging up his grave we discovered this morning!...it made me cry and upset..it really bothers me..it's coyotes or panthers doing it....big paw prints...i don't wanna deal with that or see it, but i have to face that and get it dealt with...cowgirl up!....NO crying and being a big baby about it...
Then at 3pm today i have to take my aunt to a Dr. appointment for a checkup....her car is in the shop..i think i'll go drive around town or to a store while she's at her appointment..too freaking HOT to sit in the car and wait..and i hate sitting in waiting rooms...booooring.
oh man..i don't wanna have to wait another 4 days to get that pool set up and filled with water!..not when it's gonna be killer hot everyday this week!...oh well...it'll get done..have patience...i'm not whining! ;)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
wild women at the store....
Man, if i'd known how many cowgirljules13's there are in random places online i'd have picked a different name! who'd have thought there'd be more names the same as mine?!..well this one is the only one that is ME!
We practiced barrel racing late yesterday evening when it got cooler, then drove to town to get ice for the refrigerator in the barn.....it's was so hot outside...it's hot today...but that's summer...it doesn't bother me at all even in 105 degrees...it's uncomfortable BUT not that bad....i have an unlevel pool to jump in...lol.
When we went to the convenience store to get 4 bags of ice there was a guy and 2 girls working in there...we walked in and they started looking at us and whispering...lol....I wondered what was up...so when we got to the counter with our ice they just kept looking at us and staring....
We didn't say anything because we don't care what they were taking about..i figured it was something about our family..as usual...and it was...Finally after we dug out $3 for the bags of ice and paid them one of the girls goes:" I think we know your Dad. " ...i thought oh boy here we go it's "buckle bunnies" "wild women" from the bar/rodeos and I was right....
The guy seemed to have a man-crush on Dad and he's saying all this stuff about how cool THECHAD is and blah..blah..he saw him kick some loser's *ss last year and it was bad*ss..blah..blah...The 2 women are talking rambling on and on about how sweet/cool/bad*ss/sexy-good looking they think he is and me & Sarah are like(GROSS!) but we didn't say anything, we were nice, we let them ramble on, we are used to it....lol...*eyeroll*
That one woman just kept on talking about how much I look like him and it's so sweet how much he watches out for us and cares about us....haha....god...those wild women love that....they like the whole fighting/wild/bad boy/bad ass cowboy thing...and he doesn't even try to be bad...if they only knew what a nerd he is at home!....anyhow they just kept looking at us in the face and smiling being all giggly and talkative and:" Tell Chad we said Hi!" and THEN they GAVE me and Sarah their cell phone numbers with their names on them written on hot pink post-it-notes with hearts drawn on them!...GROSS! Can you believe that crap?!..that's pretty blatant about what their intentions are.....sickos.
After we FINALLY got away from their blah.blahs we left and Sarah goes: "They look like strippers or hookers!"....LMAO....we started giggling and i go:" Uh..they probably are."...haha..
Just to embarrass him we gave him the notes and he turned red...he was embarrassed they talked to us and sent their names/#'s!...LOL....he kept saying:" Uh...what did they say?..anything else bad or incriminating?..do they know me?..do i know them?"...and we kept laughing....he got quiet and hid his eyes and walked away...laughing....lol...we cracked up laughing...i laughed so much my ribs hurt bad!..lmao.
He thinks they told us something bad....he thinks that he might know them from the bar..some of his wild women he messes with...Haha!..i think they are some wanna-bes...
that's kinda paybacks to him in a way, for being nosy and making friends with our friends so he can know everyone we know...and everything we do...How's he like us knowing what he's up to?huh?..haha!..
BUT he's being that way because of Amanda's stupid stunts she's been up to..Thanks a lot dumb*ss for that!....now he thinks he's gotta make sure we don't mess up like you have idiot!...he knows our every move and has made friends with all our friends...we can't get away with anything that somebody doesn't tell him...it's not like we would do anything bad like she has ever..he knows that, but i think he doesn't trust certain people around us...for some reason?....so yeah, our friends all love him and they spy for him...you know you guys all do! you can't deny it! ;(
in other news...they were talking about going to Cheyenne Frontier Days in Wyoming next month..i wish they would take us to that with them!.even though they would be grouchy to us i would go with my dad/uncle/grandpa just to go! just like a dork..i don't care.
it's rodeos and all that..i would love to go see that....we asked them and he said:"We're gonna drive, you 2 couldn't ride in a truck with us from Oklahoma to Wyoming!...it would be somethin' the whole drive!...i gotta pee or i gotta get outta this truck..can i go home now?!...it's too hot! i'm sleepy! or i'm crowded in here!...you'd whine the whole time probably..i don't know..i'd have to think about that one. "...
you know he's gonna say NO.
We practiced barrel racing late yesterday evening when it got cooler, then drove to town to get ice for the refrigerator in the barn.....it's was so hot outside...it's hot today...but that's summer...it doesn't bother me at all even in 105 degrees...it's uncomfortable BUT not that bad....i have an unlevel pool to jump in...lol.
When we went to the convenience store to get 4 bags of ice there was a guy and 2 girls working in there...we walked in and they started looking at us and whispering...lol....I wondered what was up...so when we got to the counter with our ice they just kept looking at us and staring....
We didn't say anything because we don't care what they were taking about..i figured it was something about our family..as usual...and it was...Finally after we dug out $3 for the bags of ice and paid them one of the girls goes:" I think we know your Dad. " ...i thought oh boy here we go it's "buckle bunnies" "wild women" from the bar/rodeos and I was right....
The guy seemed to have a man-crush on Dad and he's saying all this stuff about how cool THECHAD is and blah..blah..he saw him kick some loser's *ss last year and it was bad*ss..blah..blah...The 2 women are talking rambling on and on about how sweet/cool/bad*ss/sexy-good looking they think he is and me & Sarah are like(GROSS!) but we didn't say anything, we were nice, we let them ramble on, we are used to it....lol...*eyeroll*
That one woman just kept on talking about how much I look like him and it's so sweet how much he watches out for us and cares about us....haha....god...those wild women love that....they like the whole fighting/wild/bad boy/bad ass cowboy thing...and he doesn't even try to be bad...if they only knew what a nerd he is at home!....anyhow they just kept looking at us in the face and smiling being all giggly and talkative and:" Tell Chad we said Hi!" and THEN they GAVE me and Sarah their cell phone numbers with their names on them written on hot pink post-it-notes with hearts drawn on them!...GROSS! Can you believe that crap?!..that's pretty blatant about what their intentions are.....sickos.
After we FINALLY got away from their blah.blahs we left and Sarah goes: "They look like strippers or hookers!"....LMAO....we started giggling and i go:" Uh..they probably are."...haha..
Just to embarrass him we gave him the notes and he turned red...he was embarrassed they talked to us and sent their names/#'s!...LOL....he kept saying:" Uh...what did they say?..anything else bad or incriminating?..do they know me?..do i know them?"...and we kept laughing....he got quiet and hid his eyes and walked away...laughing....lol...we cracked up laughing...i laughed so much my ribs hurt bad!..lmao.
He thinks they told us something bad....he thinks that he might know them from the bar..some of his wild women he messes with...Haha!..i think they are some wanna-bes...
that's kinda paybacks to him in a way, for being nosy and making friends with our friends so he can know everyone we know...and everything we do...How's he like us knowing what he's up to?huh?..haha!..
BUT he's being that way because of Amanda's stupid stunts she's been up to..Thanks a lot dumb*ss for that!....now he thinks he's gotta make sure we don't mess up like you have idiot!...he knows our every move and has made friends with all our friends...we can't get away with anything that somebody doesn't tell him...it's not like we would do anything bad like she has ever..he knows that, but i think he doesn't trust certain people around us...for some reason?....so yeah, our friends all love him and they spy for him...you know you guys all do! you can't deny it! ;(
in other news...they were talking about going to Cheyenne Frontier Days in Wyoming next month..i wish they would take us to that with them!.even though they would be grouchy to us i would go with my dad/uncle/grandpa just to go! just like a dork..i don't care.
it's rodeos and all that..i would love to go see that....we asked them and he said:"We're gonna drive, you 2 couldn't ride in a truck with us from Oklahoma to Wyoming!...it would be somethin' the whole drive!...i gotta pee or i gotta get outta this truck..can i go home now?!...it's too hot! i'm sleepy! or i'm crowded in here!...you'd whine the whole time probably..i don't know..i'd have to think about that one. "...
you know he's gonna say NO.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
confused Kevin......
Been trying to figure out this blogging thing....arrange things...colors, pictures,....been messing with this an hour or so...guess i will eventually sort it all out how i want it to look...give me time....lol.
Ended up going to supper last night w/friends..mexican restaurant...i don't usually eat supper so i just ate a sopapillia..is that spelled right?...anyway..i love those things...honey, sugar ,cinnamon on them...really good...
Everybody had supper BUT Kevin who just picked at his food because he's really picky....Maybe he's kinda shy eating infront of people?...some people are....i'm kinda shy too, but i'm not afraid to eat/drink/talk infront of anybody....it's cool when people do what THEY wanna do....
I like it when guys aren't afraid to set down to dinner or supper and just eat/drink infront of everybody, talk, carry on, get seconds if they want, and enjoy their dinner outing...as you should....it's cool...they shouldn't care who or what is in the restaurant watching them, or listening to them...good grief....i'm soooo tired of these guys who are too feminine!..a lot of them my age are....it's not sexy at all to me...ick!...
guess the real men of the world have set expectations too high for some of them....lol....Go start eating, work out,change your attitude--get tough, and get some muscles!..be a real man...poor Kevin has a long way to go....but he's a great friend..a confused one....lol....ya know, it's really sad that i'm actually tougher mentally and physically than he is..and i'm a GIRL!....
I just really felt like Kevin wasn't letting himself enjoy the evening, he's real self-conscious about his weight, looks, and very picky...i mean, i'm not saying he should be a pig.....but geez, he needs to live a little and have fun..live it up..he's skinny as a rail--too skinny..he's been talking to everybody about wanting to start working out to get muscles..well...duh....you have gotta eat something!....
i'm not going to tell anybody how to act or behave or eat or whatever they do...i don't care...i'm just saying....a lot of guys my age are so confusing....
People all need to stop being so self-conscious and picky...if you wanna drink, eat, or whatever...do it because you want..not because someone is watching you and you are embarrassed..who cares what they think or say..enjoy your life..
Ended up going to supper last night w/friends..mexican restaurant...i don't usually eat supper so i just ate a sopapillia..is that spelled right?...anyway..i love those things...honey, sugar ,cinnamon on them...really good...
Everybody had supper BUT Kevin who just picked at his food because he's really picky....Maybe he's kinda shy eating infront of people?...some people are....i'm kinda shy too, but i'm not afraid to eat/drink/talk infront of anybody....it's cool when people do what THEY wanna do....
I like it when guys aren't afraid to set down to dinner or supper and just eat/drink infront of everybody, talk, carry on, get seconds if they want, and enjoy their dinner outing...as you should....it's cool...they shouldn't care who or what is in the restaurant watching them, or listening to them...good grief....i'm soooo tired of these guys who are too feminine!..a lot of them my age are....it's not sexy at all to me...ick!...
guess the real men of the world have set expectations too high for some of them....lol....Go start eating, work out,change your attitude--get tough, and get some muscles!..be a real man...poor Kevin has a long way to go....but he's a great friend..a confused one....lol....ya know, it's really sad that i'm actually tougher mentally and physically than he is..and i'm a GIRL!....
I just really felt like Kevin wasn't letting himself enjoy the evening, he's real self-conscious about his weight, looks, and very picky...i mean, i'm not saying he should be a pig.....but geez, he needs to live a little and have fun..live it up..he's skinny as a rail--too skinny..he's been talking to everybody about wanting to start working out to get muscles..well...duh....you have gotta eat something!....
i'm not going to tell anybody how to act or behave or eat or whatever they do...i don't care...i'm just saying....a lot of guys my age are so confusing....
People all need to stop being so self-conscious and picky...if you wanna drink, eat, or whatever...do it because you want..not because someone is watching you and you are embarrassed..who cares what they think or say..enjoy your life..
Friday, June 10, 2011
hot weather and bad tempers.....
Staying home tonight...it's been a really hot day...tired.
Did some shopping this evening and picked up a few groceries & pool stuff we needed for the pool....
Grandma has got on this coupon thing lately with all her "hen party friends" so she got me & Sarah to try coupons...LOL...There's never been a reason to coupon, it's more like a game to her...she's got plenty of money...i guess it's kinda the new fad....
So today we took some coupons Grandma gave us and we saved $10 on our grocery bill...haha...we were surprised.....Don't think i will get into that...it's kinda an older lady thing...or a mother thing..and i'm not a mother or an older lady so..once is enough...i rarely buy a lot of groceries..it's just us here and we only eat breakfast and dinner is usually in town somewhere...but yeah if they wanna coupon that's cool....
For the pool we both bought us a floating chair to float around in(i got blue)..lol....some shock, and a filter cartridge...we bought all that pool stuff at the " pool gettin place "....lol...
Been many family fights today....everybody in my family is a hot head, including me, and when it gets hot outside everybody gets cranky.....considering the fact we all work together most days..we all get sick of one another EASILY....
I usually try to take Grandpa's laid-back attitude about all the fighting and yelling..etc.......that's his approach to everything, life, people, problems, worries.....laid-back attitude..." Oh, whatever they wanna do let'em, they live their life..i live mine, and i mind my own business..who cares what anybody says about ya....i sure as hell never have and i'm doin' ok...it'll all work out for the best....no need to fight/worry about stuff....it'll all blow over in time. "
I try to always live like that--laid-back who gives a care attitude...he's right...who cares no biggie...lol...when you look at things that way...life seems easier..
Mark got into a screaming fight w/Dad over the phone over something...yeah what's new there?!...um...nothing.....He's near Turkey, Texas right now*thank goodness* working over that way and he said if we go anywhere tonight to watch the clouds for storms..it's storming out that way and moving this way later tonight or something...kinda wish it would rain.blah..blah....Grouchy~o~saurus!!!!....if he stays busy and he's working away from home...he can't boss and grouch at us...
If we go anywhere tonight it's to go w/Eli to get a snow cone in my "outlaw car" when the sun goes down, then back home to practice barrel racing and watch Uncle Pete, Mark, Diego & their friends all practice team roping for the rodeo next weekend...gotta pay my entry fees before then, remember this!
kisses.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
always new complicated something....
Computers, cell phones, tvs...i'm about to quit the whole deal...
I'm frustrated and annoyed anymore with all of them....yesterday i needed my cell phone to work because the truck stopped working....i couldn't get a signal and i know for sure that there is a ginormous cell phone tower on a hill to the west of where we were !....
Now, there was no excuse for my stupid cell phone to NOT be working from that location......It was hot and my temper showed itself---- i got mad and threw my phone against a tree....it busted to pieces......oh well...lol..it should have worked.....i ended up walking all the way across a field to get home...because the stupid truck over heated or something...boy was i hot and mad...
i just need a cell phone that can call and receive calls..i don't need a complicated mess computer on my phone when i have computer at home....Can we go back to sending out smoke signals when we need help?!...haha....it might take all day, but somebody would realize you were gone and see smoke...
I'm so tired of this electronic crap...new gadgets every week or so....updates....it's always changing...and something is ALWAYS going wrong with them....then they will go on the tv or send an e-mail 2 days aftre you bought it...saying:" Oh our new gadget we sold you for $4,00000000 dollars has a glitch..sorry you just spent a lot of money on our overpriced SSSSSHHHT!." ..LOL....well, of course they don't say it like that..they'd never sell their junk....
i mean, why do things gotta be so complicated all the time with this stuff!?....I'm about ready to really quit all of it....Even this stupid computer, software, and internet...always updates, or stalled, or something....i don't have the patience/time for it all...I just roll my eyes everytime i turn on the stupid HD TV satellite that screws up, and they are introducing a new gadget..i'm like, does this ever end ?....i don't need to be trying to buy IPAD version 345 in just a few years..i'm sure they will have it ready in that short time...god...
is that all really needed ? I know i could figure/learn it all..but i don't wanna have to, so i'm not going to !
and facebook?! NOPE. NEVER..i don't wanna be connected to, or associated with any of that drama..i don't like people knowing my every move or even having to talk to those people i haven't seen in ions...i would tell them:" Oh..god..go away..you annoyed me 10 years ago..if i'm not calling you or looking you up or thinking about you..it means i don't care to see you just so you can gossip about me ! because you are all insane, jealous, bitter, idiots! "---stupid people from my hometown ...help us all...i like staying far away from those people..i rarely go to town because of the drama...and i'm gonna keep it that way....i have to live in the country..if i ever had to live in town it would kill me..i'd feel caged in...staying in OKC that whole week verified that fact totally.
anyway, I agree with Grandpa it's all just a big ol' un-needed mess.....i'm almost ready to just throw it all against a tree..
.
I'm frustrated and annoyed anymore with all of them....yesterday i needed my cell phone to work because the truck stopped working....i couldn't get a signal and i know for sure that there is a ginormous cell phone tower on a hill to the west of where we were !....
Now, there was no excuse for my stupid cell phone to NOT be working from that location......It was hot and my temper showed itself---- i got mad and threw my phone against a tree....it busted to pieces......oh well...lol..it should have worked.....i ended up walking all the way across a field to get home...because the stupid truck over heated or something...boy was i hot and mad...
i just need a cell phone that can call and receive calls..i don't need a complicated mess computer on my phone when i have computer at home....Can we go back to sending out smoke signals when we need help?!...haha....it might take all day, but somebody would realize you were gone and see smoke...
I'm so tired of this electronic crap...new gadgets every week or so....updates....it's always changing...and something is ALWAYS going wrong with them....then they will go on the tv or send an e-mail 2 days aftre you bought it...saying:" Oh our new gadget we sold you for $4,00000000 dollars has a glitch..sorry you just spent a lot of money on our overpriced SSSSSHHHT!." ..LOL....well, of course they don't say it like that..they'd never sell their junk....
i mean, why do things gotta be so complicated all the time with this stuff!?....I'm about ready to really quit all of it....Even this stupid computer, software, and internet...always updates, or stalled, or something....i don't have the patience/time for it all...I just roll my eyes everytime i turn on the stupid HD TV satellite that screws up, and they are introducing a new gadget..i'm like, does this ever end ?....i don't need to be trying to buy IPAD version 345 in just a few years..i'm sure they will have it ready in that short time...god...
is that all really needed ? I know i could figure/learn it all..but i don't wanna have to, so i'm not going to !
and facebook?! NOPE. NEVER..i don't wanna be connected to, or associated with any of that drama..i don't like people knowing my every move or even having to talk to those people i haven't seen in ions...i would tell them:" Oh..god..go away..you annoyed me 10 years ago..if i'm not calling you or looking you up or thinking about you..it means i don't care to see you just so you can gossip about me ! because you are all insane, jealous, bitter, idiots! "---stupid people from my hometown ...help us all...i like staying far away from those people..i rarely go to town because of the drama...and i'm gonna keep it that way....i have to live in the country..if i ever had to live in town it would kill me..i'd feel caged in...staying in OKC that whole week verified that fact totally.
anyway, I agree with Grandpa it's all just a big ol' un-needed mess.....i'm almost ready to just throw it all against a tree..
.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
i can fix it all by myself !...maybe ?
Ok, so my swimming pool did get filled up last night finally...one problem....it's not level on all sides !...LOL..go ahead and laugh at me...but seriously it's impossible to find level ground on this place....It's full of holes from the dogs digging and let's not forget those stupid gophers.....lol..
It's not THAT bad i mean...it may be a little deeper on the east side of it....that can be the deep end and the left side can be the sort of shallow end...haha !..either way when i set on the bottom of it, don't matter which side, i go under and don't touch the surface of the water...it's deep enough to swim....it's a big pool...just hope the water filter and pump are immersed enough to work properly....eh...kinda leery of that situation....
Sort of irritated at this and after getting grouched at about it by Dad...i'm even moreso mad.....He kept saying if i would've called him he would've helped me...but i didn't want his help because when he is involved in setting up things or working things he becomes grouchy, gets mad and doesn't like to follow the directions on the box...neither do i, so i can't really hate on him for that...but he starts being a know-it-all about the project and won't let me do anything...
and if i'm working on something and he is nearby, he says;" No, no, no....that's not right...it's wrong...let me see it. " and me & Sarah just have to set there and roll our eyes while he tries to prove he can set it all up or complete whatever it is...9 times out of 10 he gets something wrong....
he acts like we are both tiny babies ! and he worries too much over us getting in trouble or something...god.
it's even worse when he is here near home and we are working cows or farming...he's always the first to get mad and yell over something.....like we are stupid....then we get mad and yall back at him and he says we are both hot headed and stubborn...whatever...he's the one who is grouching at me over MY stupid swimming pool being slightly unlevel....i hope he has to work in the oil field A LOT this weekend....
so yeah...my above ground pool is slightly unlevel...let's all cry about it..boo-hoo..
off to work.
It's not THAT bad i mean...it may be a little deeper on the east side of it....that can be the deep end and the left side can be the sort of shallow end...haha !..either way when i set on the bottom of it, don't matter which side, i go under and don't touch the surface of the water...it's deep enough to swim....it's a big pool...just hope the water filter and pump are immersed enough to work properly....eh...kinda leery of that situation....
Sort of irritated at this and after getting grouched at about it by Dad...i'm even moreso mad.....He kept saying if i would've called him he would've helped me...but i didn't want his help because when he is involved in setting up things or working things he becomes grouchy, gets mad and doesn't like to follow the directions on the box...neither do i, so i can't really hate on him for that...but he starts being a know-it-all about the project and won't let me do anything...
and if i'm working on something and he is nearby, he says;" No, no, no....that's not right...it's wrong...let me see it. " and me & Sarah just have to set there and roll our eyes while he tries to prove he can set it all up or complete whatever it is...9 times out of 10 he gets something wrong....
he acts like we are both tiny babies ! and he worries too much over us getting in trouble or something...god.
it's even worse when he is here near home and we are working cows or farming...he's always the first to get mad and yell over something.....like we are stupid....then we get mad and yall back at him and he says we are both hot headed and stubborn...whatever...he's the one who is grouching at me over MY stupid swimming pool being slightly unlevel....i hope he has to work in the oil field A LOT this weekend....
so yeah...my above ground pool is slightly unlevel...let's all cry about it..boo-hoo..
off to work.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
i miss the old her.....
Sometimes i wish i could run away from all this.....I wish i could run away from the fact that Amanda isn't who she once was, and i'm never gonna get the amanda i knew from childhood back...i mean, we practically grew-up together and to see what she has done to her life is very upsetting !...
Part of me wants to hit her upside the head and yell at her....the other part of me wants to feel sorry for her....The girl has never really had a chance...terrible childhood...all that stress...it was crazy....insane stupid family life...her mom is a *itch/*lut..i'm sorry but she truly is....sadly Amanda is just a repeat of her....so why do i care all these years later ?...because i love her...she is family...and i wanted better for her than what she has become...really messed up this time...nobody can save her because i think her mind is gone from all the drugs...i really think she has lost her mind...
Yeah, i know that if i was to ever say anything to her about what all she has done is wrong...i know she would get mad and throw something at me or yell at me...just for caring....but i have always been the one in control, the reasonable one, the responsible one between the 2 of us....the one who is cautious and looked out for her.....but i can't help someone who does not want to be helped...maybe she really is so far gone mentally now that she doesn't realize what all she has done to herself/her life ?...maybe she doesn't care....
YES i do know that there is absolutley nothing that anyone can do to save her/help her now...i have accepted that....nothing at all...no amount of talking, caring, or lectures from anyone will help her....I would love to go up to those sorry piece of *hit guys who fully know that she's not all mentally all there now and keep on using her for sex/drugs and i would LOVE to kick their *sses!!!!..That would be a dream come true !.....
As Dad and Uncle Pete have both tried to run the losers out of her life, and lecture/protect her...it hasn't worked...i truly think that has severely hurt them both that they can't help her or change her ways.....they know that too.....
Nobody in my family has ever judged people for their actions and Dad & Uncle Pete both have been wild as hell and still are....but they have lived through the drug days and can see that they want to help her overcome that lifestyle she's living.....
I seriously don't know why people do drugs, become addicted....but i don't judge them for that...i think it must come from a deep pain inside their heart...from being let down and hurt/betrayed by someone they loved/trusted......
BUT i have been hurt and betrayed by loved ones and though it may have hurt me so bad....i never once dealt w/my internal pain emotions w/drugs...i've always dealt w/it through creativity..painting, writing, music.....i've healed that way...spiritually,emotionally,mentally....but i am also a spiritual person..not a serious jesus freak or bible beater....LOL....but i do pray for direction from god when i need it...it works most times...if not you wait and find the answer....
going to Apache prayer chants w/Eli is really enlightening...Do cherokees have those ?......haha...i like to look at myself like that kevin fowler song...it suits me totally...i'm part cherokee, redneck, hippy...haha !...i am a weird combination of things....i like all kinds of things...
i look at things/life so differently than just looking at a person/situation just in ONE way...does that make sense ?....probably not...lol..i see it from their point of view and i never judge...
But anyway, each mind is different...i hope i never have to hit that rock bottom avenue of pain & suffering that i result to the drugs & low self esteem...i hope & pray i never do...i just want everyone to NOT use/abuse drugs...ever !...it makes me sad to see someone do that to themselves...if they just wanna get high...why not get lost in music, or find a new obsession?...it's easy to get obsessed & lost....haha...
enough talking...
p.s.Travis & Amy & Eli---if you wanna comment on this you have to make a blog or something...that's why it won't work !....i know you guys couldn't figure it all out !..you don't have to post if you don't wanna..i know you will see/read this..
~xoxo~
Part of me wants to hit her upside the head and yell at her....the other part of me wants to feel sorry for her....The girl has never really had a chance...terrible childhood...all that stress...it was crazy....insane stupid family life...her mom is a *itch/*lut..i'm sorry but she truly is....sadly Amanda is just a repeat of her....so why do i care all these years later ?...because i love her...she is family...and i wanted better for her than what she has become...really messed up this time...nobody can save her because i think her mind is gone from all the drugs...i really think she has lost her mind...
Yeah, i know that if i was to ever say anything to her about what all she has done is wrong...i know she would get mad and throw something at me or yell at me...just for caring....but i have always been the one in control, the reasonable one, the responsible one between the 2 of us....the one who is cautious and looked out for her.....but i can't help someone who does not want to be helped...maybe she really is so far gone mentally now that she doesn't realize what all she has done to herself/her life ?...maybe she doesn't care....
YES i do know that there is absolutley nothing that anyone can do to save her/help her now...i have accepted that....nothing at all...no amount of talking, caring, or lectures from anyone will help her....I would love to go up to those sorry piece of *hit guys who fully know that she's not all mentally all there now and keep on using her for sex/drugs and i would LOVE to kick their *sses!!!!..That would be a dream come true !.....
As Dad and Uncle Pete have both tried to run the losers out of her life, and lecture/protect her...it hasn't worked...i truly think that has severely hurt them both that they can't help her or change her ways.....they know that too.....
Nobody in my family has ever judged people for their actions and Dad & Uncle Pete both have been wild as hell and still are....but they have lived through the drug days and can see that they want to help her overcome that lifestyle she's living.....
I seriously don't know why people do drugs, become addicted....but i don't judge them for that...i think it must come from a deep pain inside their heart...from being let down and hurt/betrayed by someone they loved/trusted......
BUT i have been hurt and betrayed by loved ones and though it may have hurt me so bad....i never once dealt w/my internal pain emotions w/drugs...i've always dealt w/it through creativity..painting, writing, music.....i've healed that way...spiritually,emotionally,mentally....but i am also a spiritual person..not a serious jesus freak or bible beater....LOL....but i do pray for direction from god when i need it...it works most times...if not you wait and find the answer....
going to Apache prayer chants w/Eli is really enlightening...Do cherokees have those ?......haha...i like to look at myself like that kevin fowler song...it suits me totally...i'm part cherokee, redneck, hippy...haha !...i am a weird combination of things....i like all kinds of things...
i look at things/life so differently than just looking at a person/situation just in ONE way...does that make sense ?....probably not...lol..i see it from their point of view and i never judge...
But anyway, each mind is different...i hope i never have to hit that rock bottom avenue of pain & suffering that i result to the drugs & low self esteem...i hope & pray i never do...i just want everyone to NOT use/abuse drugs...ever !...it makes me sad to see someone do that to themselves...if they just wanna get high...why not get lost in music, or find a new obsession?...it's easy to get obsessed & lost....haha...
enough talking...
p.s.Travis & Amy & Eli---if you wanna comment on this you have to make a blog or something...that's why it won't work !....i know you guys couldn't figure it all out !..you don't have to post if you don't wanna..i know you will see/read this..
~xoxo~
Monday, June 6, 2011
new place to journal.....
Well..once again i have found a new place to journal...well..blog....whatever...i like this place A LOT better than xanga or the other one.....so far....hope i like this ok....it seems easier...don't ya like the picture of the mountains/sunset ?!.....That's the mountains here near home....
been a busy long hot day....i'm tired.
talk to you later.
love julia
been a busy long hot day....i'm tired.
talk to you later.
love julia
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