Well....they're making threats again and calling....oh big woo!...i'm sooooo scared...hillbilly relatives go away!....Can't wait to see you in the Jailbirds paper!...LMAO! where you belong.... ;)
the thing about all this stupid drug stuff is how they are dragging us into this and we have never had anything to do w/drugs or them...they are indangering our lives--every threat they make,everytime they intrude upon our lives,every fight,the crazy jealous high rants,....it's dangerous & scary.....we're just innocent bystanders...who unfortunately are related to them.....they keep dragging me & Sarah into it and we don't have anything to do w/this..we don't even talk to them!!!..it's all to draw someone out...because they are mad at that person....they stay so wiped out all the time they don't know what the hell they are doing....it's scary...they're really dangerous evil people.
i'm not trying to sound like some kinda boring, goody-goody teacher or something but:
stupid....i just don't get it...i don't care what they do..if they wanna take all those drugs,go ahead be dumb.....it's not my business or my body....i just don't understand though why someone would want to work on killing themselves with all those chemicals for a high.....it gets them all eventually....i'm sure they are making $ selling it to people, but the habit drains their bank accounts,stirs up all kinds of trouble everywhere....
it eats at their heart,brain,other internal organs...makes them super skinny gross-emaciated-bony-looking, and ruins their face&beauty, makes them ugly--- totally nasty looking..which is why it's so hard to watch somebody you adore/love..just fall apart..deteriorate....it's a let down totally when that happens....and in-dangers our lives....
to me, there's NOTHING SEXY about super skinny,strung-out,starving,bony,emaciated zombie people!...ick!...they need to put some weight on,work-out,get tougher,throw out the dangerous chemicals,and start eating!!!
i am sooooo proud when people get off of that crap and stay clean...i don't judge people-i never have....the past is the past..things change..people change....i admire their ability to be able to be so strong and stable--get better,walk away, and never look back...because it gives me someone to look up to,and to believe in you know?....
i have told people in my life:"Look,you gotta get better because i need you in my life...i need you to be here & be strong for everyone..because i love/care about you..i don't want you to die...i want you here alive..if you love me you'll stop."...and that is 100% the truth....several people have listened and done that for me...they're better and off of it...i couldn't be more proud of them!...it means that they loved/cared about me& how i feel,enough,to walk away from it.....and i have them in my life. ;)
i do know that a lot of times addicts are self-medicating pain in their lives...or a mental illness...it's very sad that something so hurtful brought them to that point to where they let drugs control their lives you know?...they're just hiding or trying to deal w/deep,dark,painful issues...which makes it sadder that they blame themselves for something and hurt themselves/their bodies....they shouldn't do that or feel that way!...they need to set themselves free...
everyone goes through self-hate,destructive times in one way or another...but i've always dealt w/bad feelings through painting/music/journaling....art/creative ways....
i just wanna take care of everyone and be there for them.....i know life isn't all sunshine & roses all the time...it isn't for anybody no matter who,or what you are...but there's a better way to deal w/pain than staying high all the damn time.....there's way better things to obsess over than drugs...... ;)
there's nothing cooler& sexier than people who don't let anything control them...they control themselves...they call the shots...nothing rules over them....they're in charge...
i do wish that i could just slap all those hillbilly relatives of mine upside the head and maybe knock some sense into all of them,get them off the drugs....before anything more dangerous takes place...but i know they are all too far fried for that to ever happen.....lol....i'm sick& tired of being caught in the crossfires of all this stupid sh*t.....we're all tired of having to look over our shoulder everyday we go somewhere.....
my Dad and several others in our family just drink & smoke now....i don't see a problem at all w/that...
not to sound like a goody-goody, but that's how i feel...
it's all sooooo stupid&stressful....
xoxo
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