It rained a little yesterday and all anybody can say around here is:"oh, well we're thankful for those clouds rolling in and what little bit of rain we did get..BUT it isn't enough."
While sitting in the cafe at noon during the rain, i saw this guy who is from my hometown walk into the cafe set down a table ahead of our table and he started talking about cloud seeding...He owns a plane and i think a couple of years back when we had a dry spell in the weather--he and a few scientists from NOAA experimented with cloud seeding from his plane or some other pilot he's friends with....But anyhow it worked...i do remember that...
they fly up above healthy clouds and put water crystals in them of some type...I do plan on researching that more as i really find it fascinating and cool at the same time...I believe it would be a great thing to try once again for the state of Oklahoma and other states affected by the drought...we gotta try something, and it worked once before, so why not try again???....otherwise we will run out of water and turn into a freaking desert totally....you can't farm, grow crops,have animals,or have water...can't do anything without water.
i don't think it's tampering with nature.....i think it's helping it along....everything is drying up and we don't need another dust bowl #76654283849 for the zillionth time!!!...i really hope someone looks into that seriously, as they must be i'm hoping *fingers crossed* with that local pilot talking with his other weather/scientist pilot friends about it here in Oklahoma....i don't know where they get the funding for that,but at this point i'm sure they could make a lot of money just from donations, everyone is sooooo desperate for rain.
i love science and nature weather things...it's interesting to me..guess that's the nerd side of my personality....lol....i should be working at NOAA not being a cowgirl. ;)
here's how it works in this diagram i found.
I hate it when my friends are fighting with each other...It's sooooo annoying how they want you to choose sides and then they will each call you at different times asking if the other one talked about them or etc....blah..blah....I just always say:"No. they haven't said a word about you."...best thing to say....keeps you out of the fight and doesn't stir up any more trouble....lol...
when they start that fighting whiny crap i just don't want to listen to them or hear any of it,or even be around them...it's stupid to fight over ridiculous things like that....oh the drama!....*eyeroll*...think i will avoid them for a few days..til this fighting blows over....annoying.
I spent yesterday cleaning up dead tree limbs and piling them into a pile to keep things tidy in the pasture....hopefully when spring gets here there will be plenty of rain and no burn ban so i can burn the piles.....i like to keep things cleaned up and nice....i also repaired fence where the cows have tore it down in places....all the time it's a sure bet that they will tear down fences....i took my time all day making repairs yesterday...it was super cold!....Brr...
I'm recently loving strawberry jello with fruit in it....lol...I LOVE strawberry anything everyone knows that...but since we're all trying to cut back on sugar before vacation, the go to dessert is jello and fruit...but it's gotta have strawberries in it somewhere!...Grandma always has made it, she puts peaches/strawberries/blueberries in it....with cool whip on top...
it's just the running joke around here in our family...we were all laughing today at noon with the aunts:"Oh the strawberry jello!"...there's gotta be different combinations for using strawberry jello and fruit!...really good...BUT it's getting boring...Haha!...we'll have to look up more recipes for that....lol..
getting sleepy...Oh!...and i bought the new Gary Allan cd...it's so awesome.
xoxo
You gotta love critics right?...lol..
The finger-pointers and accusers,name callers and knowers of all things of the universe....haha!...people who are just too lazy,self-centered,stuck-up, and cowardly to go out on a limb to reach out and try to make a good difference in the world or the life of someone/something different/wild by being kind....they hate uniqueness and creativity too by the way...lol
My situation is that of me being kind and supportive to a relative in my family who has a criminal record and dark past---an addict and has been to jail....which if you read my blog a lot you'll know that i have a lot of lost souls in my family....i'm the shining light and i have to make an effort to show them that i do care...because that's all they're searching for really.
The relative has ALWAYS been there for me and has looked after me all my life even when this relative was dealing with demons...made the effort to care about me...i've always appreciated that in my confusing dysfunctional childhood...i knew this relative cared about me...and i love them the same dearly!...despite the dark past/mistakes...this one has always treated me like a princess.
I catch A LOT of hell all the time by choosing to be supportive at this time to this relative by the people in town and from the snobby side of my family...because they're all about themselves and money...they look down on people who are down on their luck and think of the wild side of the family as trash....once someone goes to jail or becomes an addict they immediately turn their backs on them and never, not once, extend a hand to show they do care or offer support..instead they walk away forever....i don't think that's right at all to be that way....when people are trying to get their life together..at least they wanna try....making an effort..how could you turn your back on someone in that situation?
i truly believe some people can and will change if they want to bad enough...they just need support and someone to believe in them...show they do care...everyone makes mistakes and just because i've never made those wrong choices like someone else has, doesn't mean i can't be supportive and believe in them getting better...right?
i know that by caring like i do i am bringing a lot of negative attention to myself from the snobby people around town and snobs in the family....but i really don't care...haha!....i'm doing the right thing by being there and showing support...by not being a judgemental witch....they only criticize me because i have the courage to stand up and show support....to help them better themselves to change.
anytime you go out on a limb to show support/stand up/be kind/voice your opinion for someone or something that is "out of the norm" you are gonna be criticized..you can count on that..as sure as the sky is blue.....they're just too afraid of how it would look to all of their high society friends if they were actually nice and cared...i know how they are.
people say:---"Why in the world is she being so nice to them!?..they're just criminal trash!..she must be just as sorry as them!!!...i knew it!"
i know lately i have been thrown into the same category/gossiped about/lied about/hated/belittled/made fun of and name-called...by the snobs..because i'm being nice to this relative..Haha...i really could care less what they say/think about me.....nobody likes a judgemental snob..it doesn't get them anywhere in life..but hated.
when the truth is i'm the COMPLETE opposite of that kinda life....and they full well know that!!!....everybody's jealous because i make them all look BAD like the stuck-up garbage they are by treating people that way and not caring about their own relative.....LOL!
and they will all be sitting in the church pews on sunday-front row of course!..a few pews ahead of me...haha.....last time i checked God wants you to be kind and caring to all....non-judgemental...people can change..nobody's perfect.
so i'll just keep on, keepin' on, being nice despite all the negative crap they throw at me...i really don't care..*yawn*.criticise away---boooring i've heard it all before...
somebody's gonna make a difference around here and it's gotta be me...i'll take the job...lol
xoxo
This weekend i spent a lot of time worrying over a bill getting to where it needed to go in time enough through the mail so i wouldn't get late charges....I had totally forgotten to send it earlier this week because it was hidden on that scattered, wild mess of a thing called a counter top...lol.
Had i seen it earlier this week, it would have gotten mailed on time....but this week has been crazy and i never saw it...
I spent soooooo much time worrying about it this weekend that i wanted to cry because those bill collectors don't show any mercy...they don't care that you forgot it or etc....they want the check on time or else..penalties/late charges...ya know stupid crap....that isn't fair at all.....nothing is i know.
I know it probably didn't get there on time and i will be paying big late charges...and it finally hit me---Why Worry?!Who Cares?!
I told myself that this year i was going to try my best to STOP worrying so much about everyone and everything as i have the past several years...I don't know what causes it? other than it's genetic and i think worrying is caused from insecurity and stress which has been abundant the past year surrounding me....
my family is a total mystery right now...we haven't heard from a few certain ones.....i love them all...sooooo naturally i worry about them,try to figure out where they are and what is up...then i start to cry and miss them.....and it carries over into all aspects of my life lately...
But why worry?...seriously....i'm probably worrying over these family members who most likely definitely are ok and will be ok.....it's just caused me a lot of stress all this has...not just me but everyone else clueless as well.....i hear bits and pieces here and there and that is it...confused.
I need to just take hold of my "who gives a crap" side of my personality and go with it! and just not care about things that i obviously have no control over and accept the fact that i probably won't get an answer to those questions i really want the answers to.....they'll never tell me what's going on...so i shall remain clueless....it just really stresses me.
worrying is useless....worrying is for no reason most the time they say...it doesn't solve things or change them.so i'm working on that worry flaw i have..lol....it would help if i didn't care so much....but i do and i can't stop caring about people i love..
at least i'm not the only one confused lately.
Finally sitting by the fire after a long cold day..nice warm baths/showers feel great after working all day in the cold....It was only 32 degrees all day and after breaking 3 frozen ponds for the cows/horses to drink this morning at 5am, i have been nothing but freezing all day.
Wanna wake yourself up easily in the morning?...go outside at 5am and just stand there in the cold wind...wow...wakes you up fast..see..you don't even need coffee!..lol...still on my cappuccino kick...every other morning i make one on the machine...it's Winter so it's hot chocolate or cappuccino every other morning...reminder:i need to order more discs for that coffee machine.
i can't tolerate too much caffeine....i get way too jittery...my body is sensitive to a lot of things...allergic probably...i recently discovered and realized that i'm possibly allergic to something in pancake syrup..i always get headaches after using it..so i found a recipe and we all made some this weekend for Saturday family breakfast at my Auntie's house.....homemade pancake syrup----gave me NO headaches...so yeah,i must be allergic to the store brand..homemade pancake syrup from now on!!!....how crazy i just blogged about that!...lol.
too cold anyway---i was invited to go see a friend's band play tonite at a club, but we're still on "lockdown by family til further notice"..LOL...i feel like a child..*eyeroll*..Here's that same ol' lecture that is set in stone for eternity by my father and the rest of my family etc..it goes like this.:"With all the dangerous stuff going on lately...no young woman needs to be out on these roads at night..by yourself or with friends, lots of bad things go on, on these dark desolate country roads..it's dangerous everywhere."......
yeah i know..(yawn)...nice to know they love us and care...and want to keep us safe from all the hillbillies and weirdos...but sometimes it gets annoying....i'm listening to be safe and smart....besides i've got too many cracked hillbilly relatives out there who would love to harm me...sad but true...so i stay home.
nite nite.
Slept really great last nite....nothing better than falling asleep to raindrops hitting the windows...and after all of this no rainfall it's GREATLY appreciated!...i hope it rains a lot more.
Finally got around to doing some shopping this week for things needed for my upcoming vacation.....Believe me, i'm not all about shopping in this materialistic world....i don't get to shop much being so far from town..BUT i did manage to find,try on, and purchase a few things on my "To Buy List Before March Vacation"...lol
I bought-----
off white snow boots with faux fur*be kind to animals NO fur* ;)
leggings
socks
4 shirts/tops--2 in pink, 1 in white, and 1 in turquoise--sparkles.
a pale mint green sweatshirt/pant combo.Warm & soooo soft!Love it!
pajamas
That's all i have gotten so far on my list...i'm missing skinny jeans,white rimmed sunglasses,and a new purse..I want a western one in cowprint with rhinestones and a cross...ya know a blingy one..not too expensive just cute....i'm all about cowprint these days...that's easily explainable being a cowgirl/farm girl....haha...
today has been a rather sloooooow good day.....i've realized that i have to have a slow pace to my life or my nerves tend to get bad...which is why i am exactly where i should be living my life in peace....sometimes people just get annoying with all their whining and complaining...i've recently remembered just why i chose to be a cowgirl after listening to a bunch of girls bitching and complaining at a store in town....i thought:"God..i'm sooooo lucky to be able to avoid that crap."
people just get too hurried and worked up about stupid things in the city or whatever town they're smothering themselves in....i don't get all that bitching,competitive and hurry-hurry stuff..i gotta be laid-back,go stare at clouds or something and chill..haha..I like the slow pace to all things in my life...some may say it's boring...but not for me!....i say, hey,at least i still have my sanity....so far...lol.
xoxo
I was listening to a friend tell me all his troubles today, and how he felt like a total failure in life....he's really down and being tough on himself because he didn't succeed at a new venture he was taking on...He shall remain nameless to protect him!...I'm a GREAT friend aren't i?..
Anyway...he got me to thinking about how many times in life you have these HUGE fairytale dreams that you get sooooo excited about and you really believe in...you set aside everything else in life and nothing exists but this dream you have for your life...sure you know it's probably unattainable,it's immature,it's fairytale-ish...but you start to work toward your goal for a few years...and you spend several years of your life working toward that dream.....for nothing.
something goes wrong,the money runs out,the path you have taken for yourself starts to look bleak....and you then realize your dream is unattainable...not meant to be....and you sit back and think about the fact of all the years you have devoted to your goals/dreams and the money/thoughts/time you have wasted...you start thinking how stupid was i? what was i thinking?!...but at least you tried your best to chase it!
It's really easy to get down in the dumps and be very critical of yourself when things don't go as you wished for your life....But i think that your learn from each experience in your life...you have to go through all the mistakes,let downs.....for a reason....you're NOT a failure.
i think all those things shape you as a person....everything happens for a reason is my motto.....just because you don't succeed at things you dream about,doesn't mean you have to give up!.....We all have different gifts/talents/personalities we are blessed with....they may not be attention getting or that big of a deal...but while chasing dreams that never will be you sometimes discover other things you are great at that can be a blessing to the world and maybe change someone's life for the better.
Oh! Who cares!!!? if one dream doesn't work out?......chase another and another!....there's a million you could chase.
xoxo
The snow/ice has finally melted and i ventured out to do some shopping....
I always have to have a new calendar for the new year so i can keep myself on track and know the date and time,and write down important events on it...instead of having to look at my phone for the answer every morning!...lol.....AND because of the snowstorm i ended up calendar-less.....After having my Grandma call me this morning and ask me the day/date and us discussing the fact that neither her or me had a 2013 calendar....well that was enough of the ridiculousness!....
Not too picky on a calendar...i'm more of a scenic pictures girl..soooooo i found this one cheap for $5 at Walmart....I'm not going to spend $17 on a calendar...so this cheap one works and it was nature so there ya go....(the bank gave Grandma a calendar today she told me an hour ago...haha!)
AND...the 1st Bath and Body Works purchase of 2013 for me is:SnowBerry!
LOL..yes, i know i'm a sad nerd.....i got the shower gel....smells really good...think i'm saving it for New Mexico.
also had lunch with friends and discussed the fact that it would be easy to plastic wrap Steven's truck just for stealing french fries...that is so evil Steven...how could you?...haha!!! and we were all laughing so hard at Amy yelling:"Steven stole my taters!"....Bwahaha!!!...god it was funny..you had to be there...she's a riot.
yes we're all nerds.
Nite nite!
