heartbroken.....

I think I get my heart broken everyday.

All it takes is the wrong words or reaction from someone I love/care about and boom! heartbroken.

I spent the most of yesterday evening and last night up until a few hours ago at 1am til I finally fell asleep...to finally stop the crying....and why I don't know.

there's been so much turmoil in my family for the past 2years where I don't even know anymore what is really going on..who really cares about me? and who doesn't really?...it just really hurt me yesterday after seeing a certain family member and having that person be sorta cold and indifferent...kinda like I didn't really even matter anymore....I just kept a stupid smile on my face and stayed positive to this person and cut the conversation short and left...all the while crying my eyes out on the way home...

it just really broke my heart and I don't even care anymore...you know you have people in your life you look up to and sorta put on a pedestal in your life because you think so much of them and when they basically brush you off it really hurts....

I'm so upset I'm thinking to myself that the whole world is coming to an end, i'm totally moving far away from my family, and how stupid was I to think that they really care about me...your family is supposed to be warm and caring toward you...but I guess not.

i'm so heart broken over the way I was treated that I don't know if I will ever get over yesterday...sure this loved one could have been having a bad day...but it left it's impression on my heart and broke it the damage is done.

why do I even care anymore?

I should be used to being let down by people I care about by now.