be much better.....

I know so many people have family troubles, very messed up family members and lives...I know I have had in my life, a family full of turmoil, severe mental health issues---untreated, danger, addiction, evil, corruption just too many troubles....

My terrible family members on all sides of the family have all brought nothing but embarrassment, caused me and my good family troubles and endangered our lives everyday I have been on this earth I have wondered why I had to be apart of such a nasty bunch!...I know we shouldn't question why God gave me to them, but sometimes I gotta wonder just what was he thinking up there?!! does he ever regret it?......lol..

I know that I am NOT the only person on this earth that has awful nasty family members, and believe me, I'm not being a whiny person, because I know that NO family is ever perfect, but sometimes I wonder why I couldn't have had a better family life you know? I'd see people often and they NEVER had the turmoil I had having to be apart of this bunch of family members.....

It makes me angry sometimes that I have had to struggle, hide to keep myself safe, and even lie to them about all of my business to keep them away...It just makes me very angry, and I often think about other people and their lives and how they were able to have normal lives without hillbilly kinfolks being nosy, trying to kill me, ruin good things for me, hurt my feelings and destroy anything I love....but oh well, as they say you cannot choose your family.......AND at least I have a few good family members who have always cared/loved me.....

IF something good happened in my life, well, you couldn't share it or show you were happy about that something good happening because they become very angry and jealous over it and try to take it from you, corrupt it, ruin it or destroy...I think a good phrase for them and their nastiness and nasty co-horts would be "Seek & Destroy" all goodness.

even if I'd have a pretty shirt to wear they would get jealous and angry over it and try to cause problems over something as stupid as a shirt or a dress or anything stupid like that....you could be in danger IF you dress nicely or even wear make-up near them...that's how stupid and dangerous they have all been.... 

Then my whole life IF you didn't say things the right way, they totally would misunderstand and start twisting your words and saying you meant something else or you are trying to cause them troubles!...I mean, I have went my whole life "walking on egg shells" afraid to say something wrong or anything, and then they'd try to kill you over stupid things like that!..even if you were nice as I always was to them to get by when I had to be near them, well if you are nice to them, they hate you and want to get rid of you!...yikes!

No win situation.

I'd think all the time about what I was saying or wearing or where I was going and become very nervous and stressed over EVERYTHING..... they have just been too much for me my whole life......A person just has to learn to outwit them and escape their evil plots....be tough and learn to escape their corruption.....somedays I felt trapped and wished for a better family always....when you are outnumbered that is very difficult...your friends become their friends...yikes.

It makes a person very nervous and not trust about people/things often when you have been through this kind of family turmoil your whole life and seen so much destruction, you feel hopeless, lost, stressed, scared, nervous and just unable to trust others often..it takes time to get over that feeling I know many have been through that! and still go through that.

Whenever I have had so many terrible family members on all sides, people seem to just throw me into that category of "Oh you can bet she's nasty like that whole bunch is! She can't be nothing but sorry being related to that nasty bunch!" and I have had my feelings hurt by so many people saying that right infront of my face, and that has hurt me terribly when I am a very nice Christian person....it is embarrassing and very unfair to be labeled when those people DO NOT even know me!...so that is something I have to learn to try and get over daily.....

When something good does actually happen I think it is fake and will end soon, I think that when people are nice to me often that it is to hurt me, or cause me harm, and I have always felt this way my whole life because of them and their nastiness and their evil co-horts....it causes a girl to be a nervous no-trusting mess all the time!

I know many people have terrible family they are born into and I know that it causes so many problems for you when you are not even involved in their crap!......

I always try my best to be better than their nastiness, I have NEVER taken part in anything like they have...I have always been a nerd and they are just wild like the wind!....and they are awful dangerous people.....

Always try to be better than what your nasty evil family has been and make your time on earth bring goodness.....You are not apart of them when they are all together in corruption, always know you will be much better than them and you are not awful like they are!

It can cause much depression, upsets, and low self esteem for you when you are related to so many evil people...BUT NEVER give up on trying to be better and stay away from them...

Advice from a girl who knows........and that's me unfortunately...I have been through all of that, and I have always managed to stay away from them and be a good person always.....so always try to be better than they have been....bring goodness.

Nobody has a perfect family and I just always think about all that at the holidays.....

j.