Today i had a horrible fight with T..i had to tell him off and that i will NEVER talk to him ever again....nobody is talking to me that way!....we've been friends forever...but he has changed into a different person and i think after all these years of friendship we have drifted apart...sure,i know we've grown up and we're not the same people we have always been i understand that.....BUT.....he crossed the line today with the crap he said to me....i stood my ground and took up for myself...
i have never talked to him that way or treated him like a dumb-ass....that really hurt my feelings...but he will never know it did...i won't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he made me cry today....because nobody sees me cry.....nobody.
He's turned into a smart-ass perv in the past few years and i have tried to laugh off his remarks and the stuff he says to me, because we have been friends for so long...he's always bashing and criticizing EVERYTHING i do or say...part of me thinks it's jealousy over what i have, or something, or his over grown ego.....he tends to think he's better than most people anymore.....and i don't like that...
I just don't think we should be friends any longer,because i don't feel right after talking to him or being in his presence...i feel annoyed and treated like a dumb ass....nobody else in my circle of friends has ever made me feel like crap or be-littled like he has.....part of me wonders if it's because he may be involved in what is going on around here?....I don't know...but my family has tried to give me hints over the past few years that i don't need to be friends with him or trust him...sooooo i've just laughed it off thinking: "oh,that's silly stop being over-protective!"...but maybe they do know something is off about him?
thank goodness he was never my boyfriend!
after today, i will never talk to him ever again...and that's sad, but it has to be this way..nobody is going to treat me like that or talk to me that way...he's not worthy of my friendship....I'm starting to question a lot of people...i'm seeing through them after all these years...but hey,i've always been suspicious of T.....maybe i was picking up on some weirdness surrounding him?...
a person should NEVER let anyone put them down,be-little them,mouth them,or criticize them...ALWAYS stand up for yourself and don't put up with people's stupid shit!...rip them a new one/tell them off and be done with them.....if they wanna treat you like shit & kick you around..kick right back harder and treat them the same way!...
he's definitely banished from my life...never thought i'd say that one day..wow..me and T. aren't ever going to be friends ever again...sad but true.....he ended our friendship with his behavior....
*T=Kicked out of my life!!!*I will never talk to you ever again T!
anyways on a random funnier note...I have discovered i am in love with mangos for breakfast!....LOL..the red ones and the yellow ones....Bwahaha!
Just had to blog about the talk me and Grandpa had yesterday.....I think he is the wisest man i know and he is a treasure to my life...when the world doesn't make sense and i have lost hope in the world Grandpa can make you see things in a different light....
We were talking about how the world doesn't have as many heros as there was at one time...and the good people that there are in the world don't get hardly ANY attention for the heroic good things they give to the world....saving lives,making a difference,taking a stand...and the world is full of good people who are heros every day...more people need to grow the hell up and do something good in their life....tired of all this evil stupid crap.
sometimes it seems as though the media and people of the world want to glorify the bad things/people in life....well,we know why the news does--to make money like everything else....lol....but somedays i swear it seems like all of humanity is going down the toilet....you can't respect people who rob/steal/kill for no reason or for drugs....i can't respect people like that..or people who bully others because they are different or whatever....lost souls.
Grandpa was talking about the old days when he was younger how the outlaw life was necessary to get by because everyone was seriously starving and how they had hero outlaws who robbed and gave to the poor...the outlaws back then had some class...they weren't cracked out meth heads robbing/stealing/killing over drugs or just to be killing no reason at all..mostly it was to have something to eat and to help out the poor.....sure they had murderers back then and insane people...but more so the outlaw was held up as a hero...simply because they did at least help out in some ways.....i think quite possibly i could admire an outlaw back in the 20's,30's...because they did do some good...
But nowadays, NOPE...the "so called outlaws" now are nothing but thugs,meth heads,addicts,...they're all self-centered and will do anything to feed their habits...kill anyone for it...it's a very dangerous game with all those chemicals killing their brains....they think they're all bad-ass and cool..Yawn!.but all i see is a bunch of messed up dangerous losers who let chemicals/other people control them.....no respect....but if they change...i will respect that..soooo until then.....
i won't judge them because obviously something painful caused it....but i won't believe in them til i see they wanna change...
i really believe that people all over the world want and need a hero...people are sick & tired of being let down and they're tired of all the killing and the evil..tired of the stupid chaos in the world...they all want someone to believe in,to look up to and have faith in...someone human...sure, you've got your spirituality and your God to have faith in,but i'm talking about an earthly being that you can see in your life everyday that you can believe in...i know i have my heros...
we all can't be the tough guys and make those big drastic good changes...Fate has the right individuals picked out for those super dangerous missions....thank goodness for that..
sometimes it takes the right person with the right know how,and strength to protect,be strong, go in there and get good things done..and have the balls to do it.....to go after and catch the baddies or stop them from all their dangerous stupid antics....make a good difference....give us all someone to believe in!!!.. ;)
if anyone knows anything about outlaws it would be me,considering part of my family has been so crazy....i've never taken part in that insanity..i've just set back and sadly watched them destroy their lives all these years...but it's been a great learning experience for me.....at least some good did come from it..i watched and learned to avoid that mess..by watching them screw up...haha
i wouldn't ever judge people for what they do or how they live their life..but i do know that people can change and heal.....once they do change you see that some of those guys have hearts..it's just all covered up with abuse/addiction/pain.....everyone has their scars..nobody is perfect...and if they say they are,they are lying!...haha..
the real bad asses are the tough guys and girls who get up every morning and make a good difference in the world,who care and are strong enough to do the right thing and fight to make good changes,protect and be tough for us all.......they're the bad asses...it's not drug dealers or thieves or thugs....booooring!
i always tell them---"Give me someone that i can believe in,be proud of, and look up to...Be that person please?."....because god knows we need all the heros we can get...
xoxo
Sooooo it's Memorial Day weekend......Nothing special planned..chillin'..being lazy.....i'm just grilling out shrimp and things with friends...They're already being nerds and Eli keeps yelling:"Throw another shrimp on the barbie!"...Bwahaha! shut-up already!...Haha!...because we saw the Australians last night after working...haha..they have the coolest accents...sigh.
Would so LOVE to be with ALL of my family this weekend,but i know that's probably not possible.....they're wherever they are, and i don't know if what they are doing allows them to have time off?....so confused and miss them so much.... ;(
i thought maybe i might get to see my Dad this weekend or at least talk to him sometime?....This is all so confusing....I really wish i could see him...but oh well...whatever they're doing they've gotta stay serious and focused....there'll be plenty of time to see them all in the future...I just hope that he and the rest of the family know just how proud we are of them and how much we love them and want them to be safe...
was going to take off on another shopping trip to Oklahoma City..BUT...realized that it was Memorial Day Weekend and the crazies will all be out on the roads and etc...too crowded...so we opted for possibly next week a shopping excursion....lol...
have a safe weekend and don't let anyone drive drunk..throw their keys on top of the roof if they try to get them.....lol....
thank you to all the veterans who died/and or served for our country.
Happy Memorial Day!!!
All morning the sky has been smokey and the sun has looked pink or a weird orange....Kinda pretty actually until i stepped out the door and smelled smoke....
News said it's from the New Mexico fires burning and blowing this way in the wind....Gee, thanks New Mexico fire.... ;(
It's very windy and smokey....just great...*coughs and cries*... ;(
Just when a girl is getting better from stupid pneumonia...why do i even try?!!....
i hate you smokey wind!!!
going to fix a quick lunch and then back to work.
kisses.
Didn't get much sleep last night for the owl hooting all night outside my bedroom window....the dogs kept barking at it....LOL!....I tried blocking the hooting out with the tv.....still heard it...i tried putting the pillow over my head to sleep...still heard it.....it's just the fact you hear it once and you know it's there...lol.
this morning i started worrying or looking for weirdness..lol...it's all around here naturally, so i probably wouldn't notice anything really...haha
Considering the tribal mythology great grandma unfortunately passed down to me when i was a little girl...i have been scared of them ever since...I'm already very superstitious.....and then having her tell me all that about the owl and how they are warning of doom or death....yeah it drives me crazy worrying it means something!!!.....
my entire life i have been terrified when one starts hooting, because 9 times out of 10 through-out the years it does mean something...and someone usually dies or i will have some kind of weird incident with something...anything...even weirds things like a flat tire on the road after a hoot....and once an owl landed on my car after night class i was stopped at a gas station while i was on the way home filling up the car, it landed and stared at me and flew away...so see, i try to tell myself it's not always a bad sign...they are spirit guides and can be protectors or advisers and Eli believes they seek out the spiritual/intuitive/psychic humans who will listen to them...haha..and they also mean good fortune...fingers crossed on that one!!! ;)
i guess i'm just on high alert after it visited here and hoo-ed all night...considering all the crap going on around here you know?...i'm pretty leery and worrying what it meant....maybe nothing?....maybe it means good things are on the way...yeah,that's what i'm telling myself!!!...yikes.
IN the mean time, i'm being extra careful,saying my prayers for me and everyone/everything i love, and wearing my blue....yes,i'm very superstitious!!!...i don't care if it's nutso...lol..can't be too careful with this tribal legend myth stuff...you don't mess around with it...you have to respect it....
I kept thinking all night:"Owl please shut-up, i sooooo don't need this right now!" "Oh....geez....you shouldn't have stopped by the tree for a visit,you coulda just flown on by..no need to stop by and see little ol' me."...*scared face* *runs and hides*!!!
more home pics...
driving.
get off the road Mr.Buffalo!
another mountain road.
storm.
xoxo
