I swear..the stress of some family members is getting to me...one in particular named Amanda!..I just don't get it..what she's always mad about or needing to hear me say?...i really have no idea...it's just constant bitching/yelling/crying....i could get mad like Sarah and tell her off...but that only escalates into fights....haha...
She called late yesterday and started in again crying and yelling about Dad being gone working and "not caring enough" about her...I mean, what do you want me to say Amanda!?...She said:"He doesn't give a sh*t about me!...because if he did he would never have left that far to work!..He never calls! He does not care! face it Julia!...he abandons us everytime...he leaves and we never hear from him!"...
soooo i told her about him calling this weekend and giving a lecture about driving at night in the cities...she says:"Oh..yeah!..always calling to B*tch at us or boss us around...he's insane and crazy Julia!..i've got people right now who won't even talk to me because they are scared of him!..he goes around everywhere putting the word out there, that we're his family and nobody better bother us blah..blah I'm sick of it Julia! Sick of it!".....
I wanted to yell right back at her:"And I'm sick of you being a damn baby!"
"If he's running people away from any of us, it's for a good reason---he knows something dark/bad/evil going on with someone.."
"sure he can get annoying being so protective, but..that's him...i've accepted it..."
"he's never home because he's working..he has to follow his job.."
"he's got a wild rambling soul...no big deal...accept it, i have....don't try to change him...it ain't happening."
"he's Dad but he's not always around...for every minute/day/hour."
"Do i think he loves us any less when he's not around or doesn't call for weeks?..No,to think he doesn't love/care about us would be ridiculous."
"he's a very complicated man....i've always accepted that as a fact....sure there are times when i really wish i could see him,talk to him about what's annoying me,get a hug from him to reassure me everything is ok...but it's just not possible everyday."
"i miss him too...but i can't fix that,i can't make him appear suddenly and be here for us...maybe in a few weeks we will get to see him."
"call him..not me...when you have issues or whatever is making you upset..because it's your problem to talk over with him..not me."
i was so tired already from working and it was sunday..my sorta sleep day..so much for that i guess...i can't sleep for all this from her....anymore..it's just getting to be too much for me....
My Bedroom dresser mirror....After Amanda's 3hour call i couldn't sleep..so i went ahead and decorated it finally, finished it at 10pm-something..it's not too great looking..but...you can see my new Marigold Blossom wall paint & blue bed comforter!...lol...
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