hot tub nite.....

This was on the radio today...it makes me smile...catchy...after all the rain this weekend!

This weekend we went out by Pampa Tx for a machinery sale to take Grandpa and visit with Great Auntie and Great Uncle out in Silverton Tx....Loooooong sale...boooooring!....lol....Great Uncle bought a small dozer...lol....hauled it back on a trailer...yawn.got home late last night.

It rained ALL weekend..(not complaining)...spent today sleeping and being LAZY....driving makes me tired all those miles ya know..it was nice to get home finally...i listened to the rain drops off the house about 30minutes then i fell right to sleep....

Harrell and Steven tried prank calling this morning at 2am....MAJOR FAIL...Bwahaha!!!!...i think they were drunk....it's really easy to figure out who it is with 1.caller id and 2.when you hear a drunk Harrell yell out over the phone:"Steven you F****** A-hole shut-up man!"..Hee-Hee!..yeah that's a huge giveaway guys!....I couldn't stop giggling at them...lol..

talked to Morgan today(one of my best friends)...she's just awesome..every girl should have an amazing friend like her...She wants to go to that Aerosmith concert in OKC in a few months--november for her Birthday!..wouldn't that be super fun?!...Of course it would...they're her favorite band she says...so we'll see..we haven't seen each other in a while...best friends since grade school!

hurt all over tonight, my whole body hurts kinda..stress from driving yesterday probably...going to go get in the hot tub til about 8:45 tonight...makes me sleepier...maybe i will stop hurting after this...

nite kisses.

driving in the rain....

 

listened to this today driving,so pretty and peaceful..

 

We've been very busy today...lots of traveling....Looks like more this weekend....rain slicked roads can be super scary to drive on with a trailer hooked on and loaded down!!!..yikes..

 

Helping out with my Uncle's half of work looks overwhelming..huge task at hand...lots of driving..Yes,i can hook up the truck to a huge cattle trailer!..no prob bob!..it's a cinch for this girl!!!...haha...ok,...maybe it's not that easy!....

 

We drove out north of Altus early this morning...then we drove onto Hobart..stopped by Mark's house and got "orders" from him..he's been grouchy...as usual...Then by noon Grandma called my cell and wanted us to go have dinner with her and Great-Auntie who has came down for this week/weekend to visit...They wanted to go have lunch in Medicine Park.

 

We just met them for lunch,then we had to drive back home and go to work..I did see one of my friends C.R. in Medicine Park...he had to give me a huge hug and he was wanting to get a hold of Eli for this weekend a pow-wow or something....those are always fun!..i like talking to all my friends...

 

He invited me to the fair this weekend they are having..but i don't know if i will get to go....because i think we have to take Grandpa out to see his brother this weekend and drive the trailer because they are going to a sale or something near Pampa.Tx?..or some town like that....oh yay..*sarcastic face*..but i gotta help my Grandpa..he's the best Grandpa a girl could ever wish for!...so i will probably suffer through a boring ol sale with Sarah...and play games on my phone...

 

 

Oh!..i got word that Dad loved his birthday gift and he cried...they said he just bawled,like a baby..aww....Mr.Tough Guy Bad Ass turned into a pile of mush.....they were laughing they said, and couldn't believe he cried like that..all those tough guys he's working with laughed...aww..i didn't wanna make him cry like that..he just gets real emotional about us....he loved his necklace i made him and he's never taking it off he said...That made me cry..i'm so proud of him!.Love& Miss ya Dad..hope to see you soon.

 

 

time for a shower then sleep.

 

 

Kisses.

show respect....

Just got out of the shower...been a long, very windy day outside!...tired...waiting for it to rain out there tonight..if not tonight hopefully this week..i love rainy days!

I pinched my hand in a gate latch today and it is bruised/pinched/bleeding...it cut through the skin between my thumb and finger...Ouch!

Had a realization today after talking with my brother about all the gossipy/lying old women treating us all like we are trash because of who we are related to.....Like he said....all those people who treat us that way are not liked by anyone..They treat everyone like trash and are very rude/crude/disrespectful to everyone...they probably wonder why nobody likes them...lol...well...duh!...

I have ALWAYS respected everyone i have ever met...regardless of their past or how much money they don't have or do have,or if they are considered ugly/beautiful/crazy/sane....whatever they may be..social status means nothing to me...i respect everyone..i never judge anyone for what they may have done..If someone is nice to me i will be nice right back and IF they are mean to me..i usually try to overlook them/ignore them/or treat them mean right back...lol...depends on my mood at the time...haha!

Everyone likes me and have told me so throughout the years..and they have told me the truth---that they like me because of the respect i show them....and that makes me feel like a great person to have people say:"Thanks for being so nice to me when nobody else was,it changed my life and/or made me feel better."

people want to be treated like human beings...not like trash..people like being treated properly,not judged instantly, and to be treated with respect and to know they are relevant you know? that they matter too.

i really don't care what people say/think about me..i really don't...it's just that it can get hurtful at times with all that is going on around here with the constant stress of the troublemaker relatives...oh well....

i like to think that at least before i fall asleep at night that i can know at the end of the day i have treated everyone i have met during the day with respect..i have been kind to everybody i meet...unlike those ruthless/mean people!...All a person can do is their best,in any situation..whether it's your job,your life,your family/friends or the way you treat people..etc...

Just try your best and that's all you can do..regardless of the outcomes of it you can know:"Hey,at least i gave it my best shot..i DID make an effort to do this/that...to go out of my way to be nice or etc."..nothing to beat yourself up over when it doesn't go as planned....

so i will keep being nice to everyone despite the way some may act toward me--ahem....(the ol'snobby women who like to treat me like crap)...i will smile and go on by when i meet them somewhere,even though they won't care..i will keep on..."Kill'em with kindness"---as Grandma says..

my favorite quote a friend gave me was this:"Always smile...even on bad days..people will wonder what you are up to."...lol....or they might think you are possibly crazy!...haha...who cares!!! works for me..

to everyone i miss--I love & miss you so much tonight..wish i could give all of you a hug...*tears*

nite-nite.

Support farmers.....

 

Didn't get to go to the concert last night at the state fair!...*sad face*.He's one of my favorites.....i love this new song..

 

Lots of work finished yesterday..We started planting wheat out in the fields yesterday morning early...hoping we can catch a lot of rain in the next week....yes i DID get to drive the tractor!!!...Haha..it's soooo fun...radio/air conditioning! hello?!..can't beat that can you?
 
It's a great feeling to be helping out my family in any way i can with all the ranch/farm work...and there's always something to be done around here...it is really tough/dirty/all day work..but i love it...sometimes a girl doesn't wanna worry about makeup/fashionable clothes...sometimes you just wanna be no makeup and in work clothes...making progress on something, busy working.i do anyway... 
 
I think that farmers should have more support and praise for all the hard work they do...I don't think many people realize just where all the food they eat comes from,they just go to the grocery store and buy something and probably just think it all comes from a store..haha!....
 
Without farmers the whole world would starve...and there's no reason for anyone in the world to be starving because of the ability to farm...Farmers need more praise and acknowledgement for all they do..somedays it seems like they never get noticed or recognized in the news media for all the good they do..and that's wrong..but that's the news media..out to only carry stories that make a quick buck..don't get me started on the news....lol
 
The drought has really been tough on all the crops this year all over the country..but you take hard hits like that and you build/grow/bounce right back when you fall down..just like in all set backs in life you keep on going....
 
the weather will change..it will get cooler and rain..crops will grow again....
 
Had a GREAT time last night playing guitar and singing at the party...lots of people there...I LOVE my friends so much!..thanks for making me feel better about that stupid town we have all decided to avoid...
 
i feel 100% better after talking to everyone about the way i have been getting treated in that town..and you know what?....I found out that those same lying/gossipy old ladies have been talking trash and treating everyone that way about everything lately..not just me....kinda a relief to know that...

always bitchy gossipy women starting something....everyone is avoiding that town..yay!

lazy sunday coming up...after work this morning.

xoxo

don't automatically assume...

Since my cousin went to jail i guess it got around town fast...oh and let's not forget all the other hillbilly cousins and their on-going chaos/fighting/causing trouble...People in town really treat me like I am a criminal..I hear them stare/point/whisper.."Oh she's related to ALL of them!...she's one of them!..i will bet she's just as sorry as they are!"
 
It's really hurtful how people treat me like that just because i am related to all the troublemakers around these smalltowns in this area.......they act terrified of ME....yes, me....why me!!?..I certainly haven't done anything to anyone,i'm NOT a troublemaker/drunk/drug dealer/thief/or addict--never have been...i am proud of myself for that.
 
i've never done anything horrible, nor do i go around causing trouble..i can proudly say i have NO criminal record.i've really worked hard to be a good person and a sweet person to everyone...but yet..some people who do not even know me,want to treat me like i am a horrible person...just because i am related to all the troublemakers....and it really hurts my feelings to get treated that way.
 
if they really knew me or took the time to get to know me,they would find out that i am actually a really great,kind,fun,person and they would probably like me...It's very narrow-minded and stupid of people who don't even know me to throw me into the same bad category as my hillbilly cousins...all because i am related to some bad people...it's pretty pathetic/hurtful when people automatically assume things about people they don't even know....
 
you know you would think all these people around here would have the brains to at least actually think about my situation and say:"Maybe she really isn't like them?...just because she is blood kin to these horrible people doesn't mean she is JUST like them...it's not fair to throw her into the same category".......But no...they don't....they just wanna gossip/whisper/stare and talk all their lies/gossip...stuff they wanna believe....probably because they are all old gossipy/bored/jealous people who want me to really be a bad person...because they can't believe i am really a great person..and don't wanna believe it.....people always wanna believe the worst in people..they look for it...and they didn't find anything wrong with me so they treat me like that...tired of this.
 
so i have decided that since all these gossipy,snarky people in town want to treat me like that,i will no longer be going to town for ANYTHING..nothing..i will drive 60 miles or more to do my shopping and dining...it's pretty obvious i'm not wanted in their precious town.none of us good people in this family are ever treated right by people in these towns around here..all because of who we are related to..too bad because they have just lost more shopping/business in their town...

i have had my feelings hurt by the way they have treated me the past few years..i've tried to ignore it and pretend like i don't see/hear the things they say and that it doesn't hurt..but the truth is..it does hurt...but no.....no longer will i stand by and be treated/be-littled by people i don't even know....and pretend i don't see/hear what they say, how they act toward me...

i don't have to go to town because i live in the country..so i will no longer be going to any of these towns around here that treat me that way..i won't allow my feelings to be hurt any longer...they will not ever see me again and that's their loss...they can have their stupid/gossipy people in their town..i won't be back.
 

my fall music choices....

Today has been a kinda weird emotional day for me..I spent the better half of the day staring into space thinking..staring out the window of the truck..just thinking..thinking about how much it bothers me about my cousin going to prison..and how much i care about him..and how it totally breaks my heart to see a sweet person like him get caught up in drugs and go away forever...

why do people do that to themselves?!

 

today i found out that he went away this week..

 

then i stupidly plan out in my mind all the Christmas parties/family gatherings i could have this year and invite him,hug him tight, and tell him someone DOES care about him and love him dearly and that someone is me....i also stupidly envision all the things i could make for the Christmas dinner,the present i would buy him and how we would all stay up til the early hours of the morning laughing/dancing or playing music or video games....without a care in the world...but it can't happen now.

 

i'm not going to pretend it doesn't bother me that he's gone away for a very long time to jail...and i'm not going to make excuses for him either because what he did was very stupid & wrong...

 

it's just that, i wish he could've done better you know?...we're the same age and i've always felt super protective over him because he had no guidance in life..i feel sorry for people who are kicked around like he has been...nobody asks to be treated like that..it's just the card some people are sadly dealt..no family support and no love....

 

breaks my heart people are so careless with their loved ones...i hate his mother..don't get me started on that piece of trash!!!---she's the reason he got into drugs in the first place...i would love to kick her face in..but karma is going to come back around and slap her in the face...you just wait and see..it gets everyone for the evil/negativity they put out into the world...true...so i'm not worried about her... ;) *big smile* *wink*

 

i also found out that he doesn't want me to know he's gone to prison..which makes me sadder...like i wasn't going to find out from some other family member? makes me sad.

 

oh well it doesn't matter i guess..so anyway..i've been listening to lots of music this week...

 

 

 



 



It's strange,but during the fall/winter season the music i listen to changes along with how i change colors in my surroundings...it's weird how i am but that's how i roll!...lol..
 
BY far i listen to alot of the "rat pack", swing,jazz or any of that era of music..it was really great music...beautiful voices/music and songs(wish i lived in that era..But sadly i didn't)....
 
I also listen to tons of instrumental music--therapeutic for mind/spirit...there's something great about having calmness,calm music in the cooler air...sometimes all you need are a few instruments without words for a tune to tell you a story or make you feel something....it's all interpreted uniquely by each individual i think...that's what makes it so great to me...

 

 

sleepy.nite~nite

 



 

happily single....thank you very much.....

It's been raining the past few days!...and got chilly...finally i got to take all my fall/winter clothes out of storage and wear them....still haven't dyed my hair yet...i don't know how those colors will work on my hair yet...investigating all that before i buy it and use it on my hair...i don't want green hair or something!...haha...

Had to buy a wedding gift for a local couple in town...i bought some red $35 baking dish thing they "ordered" on their 14page long gift registry....I got invited to the shower and wedding.gee,no thanks for the invitation...they're really young and both total spoiled brats...the bride to be, has already turned into a bridezilla and wants everything PERFECT..and they have spent no less than $23,000 on this crap..ridiculous....lol...yeah it's gonna last...LOL!!!...

my Grandma was saying yesterday:"Always somebody wantin' a gift for a wedding/baby shower!...you may never see them, but oh you are getting asked for a damn gift...all i get them is a glass pitcher and a towel..good enough....they aren't gonna stay married...they'll take it back for the money anyway, how all these idiots are!"....haha...

always seems to crack me up how they think they have to spend all the big bucks on getting married,go into crazy debt for it,and then get divorced in a few years...just like everyone else does...people are so stupid i swear..but that's their problem/business not mine.

I've never wanted to get married or have any kids--don't want the responsibility or to be tied down with that mess...i've had many offers...lol....BUT i just don't care anything about ruining my life....now, if i had lived in the 30's,40's, or 50's or some era like that...i would probably have believed in that...people are too reckless,heartless,cold,gold-digging, and crazy for me to ever believe in something like marriage....i know i would get my heartbroken so bad over that i would probably never recover....so i just don't care..

I come from a family of nothing but divorces/chaos so i don't have the ability to believe in something stupid like a fairytale...life has never been stable actually,i have watched all the people in my family and how it all crumbles...how life really is you know?..what happens....most my friends are divorced now and some of them have kids and they always tell me:"Stay single!..don't ruin your life like i have!..you're so smart and lucky!"

i've never understood why all the time growing up all the girls in school would sit around and talk about their future wedding and having kids etc...i've just never wanted that..a boyfriend is enough for me...i suppose they always thought i was weird or something...i could care less what they thought or would think now..my life/ideas not theirs.Haha!!!just like they could care less what i would say about theirs..

But i'm glad i have that ability to protect my heart from heartbreak and be smart..I'm just not capable of ever having enough belief in marriage to have feelings like that to think i could stay married to someone or would ever want to be....i get bored easily with people...so i think it's best i stay single and free--i'm happy and comfortable that way.....NO hurt feelings and NO court costs!....lol

i have to have my freedom..never tied down...i don't let others break my spirit or my heart.....ever...if there's ever gonna be any heart breaking?....i'm going to do the breaking from now on....Haha...I don't really believe that romantic love ever lasts..it fades.....BUT i DO believe in platonic love like you have for your family/friends..it does last..never fades...that is real love...it's very strong.

nobody gets married in our family...they just don't....all the men in our family have all those hoards of disposable wild women party girlfriends and they are happy with that....then the aunts/girl cousins that are single now have all their wild party men,just boy toys..that are disposable at any time.lol...they seem happier than ever..LOL!just like my friends are...like everyone is...haha!

and me i'm a very happily single girl...someday a long time boyfriend maybe,whenever i find the right one.....I'm comfortable with my OWN money,house/land,pets,friends,family,ideas,inspirations,dreams..and most importantly..my freedom...I am my own boss and that is how it's going to be....

xoxo

crazy bull.....

Seriously thinking about coloring my hair something different...bored with blonde right now..I usually try to change things up like that when the seasons turn...I drag out all the orange/reds/brown/rust colors for my clothing and change my lipstick shades/nail polish colors to those color shade families as well....
 
I'm thinking maybe a light caramel brown hair color?.....Saw a box of that at Walgreens and i may just go ahead and buy that this week later on..it's fun coloring your own hair....to me it is anyway!...lol....I get bored easily in all things,so i have to constantly sorta re-invent things in my life..update i guess you could say...I add new pieces/colors to things like that..it's fun!
 
Almost got killed by a mean bull yesterday....we bought him from a guy in the next county and went and loaded him in the trailer....went great..just fine no problems...THEN when we got him home and into the corral to turn him out in the pasture he went CRAZY...i just opened the trailer door and let him out and he started pawing the ground at me,snorting...then he ran at Grandpa and my new dog Bandit got between the bull and Grandpa.
 
Bandit kept barking/snapped at the bull...He stopped the bull from running at Grandpa...he saved his life!!!Bandit is a hero!..extra dog treats this week!... ;)
 
The bull tried to knock Bandit over and then he ran for me and i climbed over the fence and basically just fell off onto the other side trying to get over and away from him...fell hard,it knocked the air out of my lungs and i couldn't breathe...i was lying there on the ground unable to catch my breathe..
 
Ouch!....still hurts my hip this morning and will hurt for awhile...all bruised..purple/green.
 
We named him Satan...LOL...and rightfully so,he earned that name..he is sooooo freaking mean..So we called the guy we bought him from after all that mess and he said:"Bring him back over here and i'll take him right over to the sale barn friday..I'm not havin' any bulls that crazy.".....
 
We finally got him loaded back up onto the trailer and drove him back to the guy's place..His spanish ranch hand said excitedly:"El Torro...Diablo!...Loco!"....Haha..I laughed and said:"Si Mucho!"....
 
We got our $ back for the bull and i guess we will buy another one elsewhere...lol....
 
off to work.

kisses!

dusty....

dusty sky.

Survived the dust storm yesterday evening....But now i am sick and have a sore throat..*sad face*...Stupid dirt!..(no need to dust anything around here..too late for that!)..I got home and to the house 30 minutes before it hit...I am so happy i did...i would probably have pneumonia or something much worse than this cold i have this morning...

Friends called and wanted to go catch a friend's local band playing at a bar last night right during all the winds and small storms...I was like:" No way....i'm not driving 45 minutes in this crap to get to town to see them play."....I was grouchy and tired..soooo i stayed home and took a Theraflu pack----fell right to sleep...i'm sure it helped me..but i still have the sneezes and sore throat...hate this!...

it did cool off from 107 down to the lowers 80's last night..which was a relief to everyone i'm sure....it sure was to me!..tired of running the ceiling fan on full blast all night...i want it to be cooler.

feels like a sleepy saturday for me..i think i'm gonna get some rest today..be lazy and play games on the Wii....

other things----I still have the inability to totally trust people even if i have known them for a few years...still leery of them...so many people are wolves in sheep's clothing you know?....It takes a looooong time for me to relax and trust people...i have to have many,many years of friendship to let my guard down and be totally at ease with anyone...It's just how i am..

a girl can't be an airhead and live in a fairytale land..because we all know that fairytales aren't real and never will be...too many losers out there that are just looking for someone nice to take advantage of in any way possible.....hangers-on,leeches,back-stabbers,liars,thieves...only there to pretend to care for you/be friends and behind your back plotting/planning evil harm to you....to get what they want...to benefit themselves..

i've had "so-called friends" in my life that ended up being not friends at all...it really hurts your feelings, but i see everything like that as a life lesson to make you a stronger person...everyone has dealt with people like that in their lives i'm sure....

I'm just always VERY leery of people and i can detect a shady character full of BS anywhere..i don't let on to them that i have them figured out...i just watch,listen and observe them...and 99% of the time my suspicions are RIGHT..when i realize that i am right about them..well...too damn bad for them...Adios' from my life!....

the world is full of losers out to hurt/use anyone they can, BUT it's also full of great people out there who have truly beautiful hearts and souls...you just have to make sure they are who they present themselves to be to you....protect your heart..use your mind and care enough about yourself to be cautious of people....search for the good people to have in your life...is what i try to do always...

someone who really loves/cares about you would NEVER in any way introduce any evil/sadness/or trouble into your life..they don't care if you don't have any $'s, or bazillions of $'s in the bank or that you can help them in anything..they just love you for you no matter what and have your best interests at heart...like family does....

xoxo

hello September....

Finally we are getting somewhere!...September!.....Only 3 more days left of stupid 100 degrees...supposedly....we'll see.

I survived the weekend in Oklahoma City with no problems....everything was great..I even went shopping and finally found a new turquoise bed comforter at the mall....it's sooooo pretty...I'm proud..and a pumpkin pie candle...smells good!.Promise i will post pics later on when i get time....along with all the new fall decorations i bought....yeah i know..like anyone cares...lol...i bought more...i'll take pics of that too later blog...haha

My Auntie gave me the brand new "cappuccino/coffee/tea maker machine"!..It's a Tassimo....kinda like a Keurig i guess..i LOVE it...it's super easy to make you a cup of any of the above fast...all you have to do is put in that little pack of your choice..press down and press ONE BUTTON...nothing complicated..the way things oughta be....my house will forever now smell like coffee/cappuccino everyday...helps wake me up in a hurry i do know that...

Mark bought everybody's lunch today..at noon,we drove to Medicine Park and ate at Old Plantation Restaurant..you know,the "haunted one"...lol....I had catfish dinner and i bought extra some of those rolls...oh man..i love those rolls---everybody does..bread/carbs i know..but who freaking cares....everybody was so hungry today i swear....we debated it was either over there or Taco Bell..but by far we all voted for real cooking....

Mark goes:"Everybody I'm buyin' lunch so let's go!Don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity!I'm bein' nice today"...haha...that IS a miracle to behold...LOL...He's leaving for Amarillo tomorrow so i have to keep up his livestock until friday at least...and go to the tack store for repairs on things...

Work has been hot & very tiresome....super tired all the time....no Labor Day or rest for this girl!..i swear we must have to go to the feedstore at least 4times a week since the drought has dried up all the grass in the pastures...we DO have plenty of hay for the upcoming Fall to run through Winter for the cows/horses...so we are buying feed til then.

pic of home

I can't wait for the Fall...when i can ride my horse out in the pasture look at the sunrise/sunset sky and feel a chill in the air in the total quiet..i'm a very lucky girl to live in quiet nowhere....

tired. nite-nite.