thought they had it all......

I have purchase some notions for my purse creation, I found orange/black adornments for my fall seasonal purse....I have sewn on a few of them yesterday....I am excited to complete this creation and use it all through the next 2 months at least....

anyways, thinking about things-----

People sometimes wish for others to think they have it all.

They can lie, and cover up the truth about what is really going on with them and their "perfect" life they try to portray to others....The one thing they always have enjoyed saying to my face is: " I am powerful, successful, very wealthy, and I have a good husband and children!"...YOU don't have anything like what I have!" and it was always someone I thought was a good friend to me, that started a few years after graduating high school.....

THEN I started thinking: "How is it that they all have such cheerful, happy home lives, with a good husband and they seem to have it all...BUT I guess whenever I left and the doors to their home shut for the evening NOTHING is what it seemed on the surface about their "perfect" lives....

Jealousy is something I have had to put up with from "friends" and I never could figure out why...I NEVER had all their perfection!.....LOL....Boy, I sure am happy I didn't have all that misery they had!!!.....I laugh now....wow.

It seemed for a very good amount of time, it was overly important to belittle me, make fun of me, be a snobby b*tch to my face, and for them to cover up the truth of all the nastiness they were involved in with their husbands....LOL....but they kept saying to me: " MY husband he purchases me this, that, he LOVES me!!!".....AND it was a little too over the top with fake-ness!...

I started seeing things go on with them at their home, or the stories they would tell about "WE are attending spousal marriage support counseling!!!" I thought: :"Why the hell do I care, you treat me bad and then wanna tell me your personal marriage life stories and cry now?!!"......haha....it got weird....she was yelling this to me and about to cry!!!....lol...

These so called "friends" of mine, started behaving weird, screaming about their children, and how they hated them, how they hated their husbands and this husband was cheating on her.....blah..blah...drama!

so I started realizing very quickly that something was false with all the overly lovey-dovey husband stories they made sure they told me, a few of them started telling me very graphic sex stories about them and their husbands...and I said: " Ok, OK, that is enough with the nasty stories!"  *puke*...I never could figure that out either...why tell me that!!!? that is personal--keep to yourself and your spouse!....nasty.

 and if I just said Hello! to their husbands while I was at their home, they got jealous and angry..snirled their noses, and geeze all I was being was friendly saying only "Hello, how are you?!" I would NEVER flirt with a woman's husband or boyfriend and I would NEVER go after a married man or someone's boyfriend!!!...that hurt me that they were behaving that way toward me.....I thought: "Geeze, B*tch how many years have we been friends now!" about our whole lives....*sad face*....but I don't care anymore, been years since I have even talked to those b*tches...they are not friends, just hateful, nasty skanky women....

I started hearing all about their marriage woes, and all these stories about how all that BS they kept shoving in my face was all fake, they were not true to their husbands and they were not true to them, they were bed hopping sleeping with many others...funny huh?!.....Haha!...I laugh now....just nasty...icky!

they kept saying they had children and I NEVER would...so I just laughed, because I couldn't take care of a baby/child with all the stress I have been through....I will never be a mother and I am ok with that...I just laugh about all this!....some people are not meant to be mothers....others are!....

I still can't figure out why it was so very important to be mean to me, and cover up all of the misery they were going through with their marriages/children...why cover it all up to me and make up fake happy stories and say: " YOU will NEVER have what I have. my husband is great! we are successful!" and belittle/make fun of me because I have never had that!.....still can't figure that out about them..

see, I thought that they had it all back then, because I only saw the cuteness/perfect when I was nearby, but that was just on the surface, what they portrayed to me, and worked very hard to make me believe.....lol....wow..something else....underneath all of that was just a fake!

so whenever you think someone has everything perfect and they can tell you over and over they have it all like that, THEN they are belittling you, making fun of you and telling you will NEVER have all that wonderful BS they pretend to have, you can know something is going on that is all false and covered up!.....Bwahaha!!!

many people do have happiness with marriage/good spouse they belong with, and children, but they are not mean and make fun of others who don't have all that.....lol....just my "friends" treated me that way I guess....

I spent many years trying to figure that all out about my so called "friends" and feeling weird because I never had all of that INSTANTLY like it seemed they all did!.....they seemed to be happy and I thought they had it all.....I guess I was wrong....

I just laugh about all that now...my feelings are not hurt anymore.....

j.