another letter...

Well, it's letter time, I am not a cry baby, or a whiny brat, I just have to find some relief from easy !...

I want to tell you all thank you for getting rid of a lot of harassment, and nastiness, I saw creek crawling the other day, and I also say tell everyone thank you everywhere who helped get rid of all the trash involved in this nastiness...I wish that I could tell them in person, but I know later...

This road makes me weirded out sick or something seeing these old houses, nastiness I saw through here...weird I know, creepy feeling or something...puke !

Here is my bitchy list about E.' s lunatic ways that are I think about to kill me...

My fans in my bedroom are still hacked playing screams, talking all day + night...cats still meowing at ceiling, peeing in floor, behaving crazy....I clean properly, almost daily this happens, they will not sleep, they hear the buzzing, talking screaming on fans or in house, wherever it is, my dog barks all night, I am worried he could be hacked and die too...Upsets me

He tells me daily I have cancer, and keeps saying cancer treatment centers of America in my head, and on the fans...makes me exhausted....scared...j.w. tries to tell me the truth...and calm me...I think j.w. should be able to talk to me not E. !!!...I am scared a lot still...because of junk E. Tells me all the time...! Says they are removing my organs with equipment, you won't live long bitch, bla, bla, bla...on and on..

says he sends tiny short people to follow me, says they are his friends, they are creepy and smelly..weirdos...make faces at me in stores..or on roads...driving..

Tells me, they are going to kill me, I am dying, my pets are dying, says Kyle s. is coming back, every time I go to town he screams in my head, there's Kyle s. !....that idiot was a lunatic he hacked my mind, talked to me same time as E. Talked in my head, years ago...both at same time all jacked up on drugs, trying to kill me at stores, followed me, kyle said he would spit aids blood in my face...almost killed me talking in my head like that !!! 

Kyle hurt animals I saw in road...Upsets me still I saw that.....sad...Kyle kept turning it up on my head saying I had to marry him bitch !...I said no, I won't, he turned it up deep in my mind....screaming....yes you will bitch !...he was a gay guy, he said and all the gay guys hate you bitch !....I could care less ! I told him...creepy nasty weirdo ! I tried to talk to him, to calm him down, he kept on...I hope it doesn't ever happen again !...this has been a nightmare, my whole life...I couldn't get him shut off my head...he said he pressed nerves down in my stomach, I got sick with pain, vomited....I hope he's gone...crazies jacked up on drugs, do not need that equipment !...this went on 5 - months...I survived, it infuriated all the cheap nasty hillbillies everywhere !....

They kept calling me a bitch, so I told them, you're wrong, it's queen bitch to you trash !!!....lol...

E....Keeps telling me when I have something to eat for a meal, you fat bitch ! Then mashed on my nerves to make me nervous feeling, tells me he is punishing me for eating something, next time he screams at me in my head, all you eat all the time is salads, eat real food bitch !....go figure that one !...jacked up in the head, last time I saw him, and paid attention he weighed about 2 pounds, on drugs....lol...nasty.

Plays songs in my head everyday, to exhaust me, this has went on for years with all the crazies with crooked equipment....tired.

He sits up the road at the b-shaw house at his roost like a buzzard, and I am the tired prey, innocent, confused, he talks and yells all night at me....I feel exhausted, and I might pass out or die, scared ! He won't stop talking in my head, or on the fans, I have to keep cool, my room doesn't cool very much, even with air conditioner on, insulation bad in this old house....I feel sicker...

He keeps playing old conversations in the house on fans...I guess eavesdropping got someone in trouble...lol...they don't like what I had to say about them, and got in trouble...haha..don't like what I say, don't be listening !

Yells at me in my head when I turn on my internet, or my cellphone, or when I blog, you kill my friends bitch !...kept hiding my signal he said so I couldn't blog...

Tells me every time I go to bathroom, my uterus will fall out, and that Brown worm is going to fall out again...nervous....I am always upset, tired, confused, exhausted, if I can get a nice night of rest, sleep without talking every second, I feel better for a while...I need peace and quiet at night...

I am a mess, of tired, don't care no more, sick, exhausted, creeped out....these idiots have about made me nuts ! Having to battle all this trash, everyday my whole life, not just the snobby hillbilly family, but the less money hillbilly family, all their people, then at school I had to know those people that were in with them, insults, embarrassing me, harassment, nastiness, all that trash still following me, nosy, just chaos...blaming me for their own ruin...I just laugh...

He said he had to tell me about a handful of friends I really always enjoyed talking to at school, that they are going to be in my life, if that is true, I am happy for them, they were always kind, caring, true friends, that suffered with me at school....tell them I love you guys, can't wait to see you, thank you for keeping me safe when I knew nothing about these corrupt losers !...can't wait to be friends again, I miss you !...and a few others I haven't met yet...if that is true, that makes me happy...

E. Keeps saying they are ok, not mad at me, and that makes me happy, then the next day, he says they are gone, hate me, and I become sad, confused....wish I knew the truth...says this about many people, he says you say for him to tell me about....oh well maybe someday I will know the truth...

I just want E. to have some serious help, don't hurt him bad, he just needs mental health, rehab serious !...I think he is overdosing, having old memories, upsets, flashbacks about his loved ones, I think...frightens me...sometimes he is nice to talk to, days he tells me he is taking medicines, he can be comforting on those days, but just half the time, then he goes nuts later....hellllllllp !

I felt like writing a letter.

Sorry this rambles on, but I have a lot of stress, confusion, tired with him, this, and my mother and grandma's confusion...thanks for everyone taking care of me all my life..

Love, Julie