Monday, December 9, 2013

snow+ice= stuck at home

Totally been snowed/iced in for a week....roads so bad you can't drive anywhere.Had to have feed delivered in this past Thursday by feed company with a semi...could hardly make the curves around to the barn to unload!!!...dangerous.

ponds completely skating? not....Haha!

It was 10 degrees Saturday morning and you talk about COLD!..Brr!...My internet has been acting crazy due to the ice freezing over my satellite so I gave up getting it to work...thawed yesterday so I can get online now..hopefully?

Need to get out there and do some MAJOR Christmas shopping I feel like this ice winter storm has put me way behind on getting anything like that done...Can't do anything but wait for the roads to the water well hasn't froze but my grandparents and my aunt&uncle's did.

can get out into the pastures to hay and feed with feed truck...but gotta be careful!


Monday, December 2, 2013

men of few words....

Relieved to get Thanksgiving over...It's always rather stressful and hectic---as is Christmas which is on the way next.oh family time...*eyeroll*

Spent this past week with Grandparents...Didn't get to see Dad...I saw some vehicles at his house but I didn't stop...Weird I know but I just drove on past...I suppose whenever he wants to talk to me or stop by to see me he will...I'm really still kinda unsure of what's going on with him.

I've always wanted to just have a "normal" family...No second guessing, or craziness of the " bat sh*t crazy" variety kind!!! oh no not me...I get the most stressful, confusing, insane family to belong to...but you can't pick your family as they say....I was born into this craziness...I don't know why I question it or that it even bothers me's been this way my whole life.

I get my feelings hurt over the stupidest things sometimes involving them and it's just because they are all sooooo hard to figure out..They will say things or react in ways that I see as not caring enough or showing enough emotion and it confuses me....But I think that's just how it is with most men in the ranching/cowboy business...They don't show much emotion...quiet.

I will cry and cry to myself about something they don't say or do say to me about things because I take it that they don't appreciate me or think I'm just stupid when in fact I know that's not true..They'll say to me:"Why did you think that? I'd never think you were stupid." or they say:"Just because I haven't talked to you or been to see you doesn't mean I don't care about you.".....

Just men of few words in my family....See, I'm the only girl and it's kinda tough considering i'll be all emotional/pms and they're all business, serious and know ALL the ropes of the cattle business...yes..i'm still learning but I want to be taken seriously and at least shown that they do appreciate me...

In some weird way I want them all to be proud of me...I'm guessing it's because I look up to all of them as role models and I am watching them and learning more everyday.

maybe I need to just think like they do more less emotion about things and not get so frustrated? be less insecure.stop over-thinking and over-analyzing.

freezing rain on the way this week and snow...yay!*sarcastic face*