This weekend i spent a lot of time worrying over a bill getting to where it needed to go in time enough through the mail so i wouldn't get late charges....I had totally forgotten to send it earlier this week because it was hidden on that scattered, wild mess of a thing called a counter top...lol.
Had i seen it earlier this week, it would have gotten mailed on time....but this week has been crazy and i never saw it...
I spent soooooo much time worrying about it this weekend that i wanted to cry because those bill collectors don't show any mercy...they don't care that you forgot it or etc....they want the check on time or else..penalties/late charges...ya know stupid crap....that isn't fair at all.....nothing is i know.
I know it probably didn't get there on time and i will be paying big late charges...and it finally hit me---Why Worry?!Who Cares?!
I told myself that this year i was going to try my best to STOP worrying so much about everyone and everything as i have the past several years...I don't know what causes it? other than it's genetic and i think worrying is caused from insecurity and stress which has been abundant the past year surrounding me....
my family is a total mystery right now...we haven't heard from a few certain ones.....i love them all...sooooo naturally i worry about them,try to figure out where they are and what is up...then i start to cry and miss them.....and it carries over into all aspects of my life lately...
But why worry?...seriously....i'm probably worrying over these family members who most likely definitely are ok and will be ok.....it's just caused me a lot of stress all this has...not just me but everyone else clueless as well.....i hear bits and pieces here and there and that is it...confused.
I need to just take hold of my "who gives a crap" side of my personality and go with it! and just not care about things that i obviously have no control over and accept the fact that i probably won't get an answer to those questions i really want the answers to.....they'll never tell me what's going on...so i shall remain clueless....it just really stresses me.
worrying is useless....worrying is for no reason most the time they say...it doesn't solve things or change them.so i'm working on that worry flaw i have..lol....it would help if i didn't care so much....but i do and i can't stop caring about people i love..
at least i'm not the only one confused lately.