Sunday, October 6, 2013

hilariously hiding something from me.....

The weather finally got cooler last night.....I slept really good...BUT I woke up with a allergy cold thing...yeah...bleh!!!...sneezy/coughing/headache can't breathe....the whole thing....just wonderful.

I will say one thing, this cooler weather is the BEST for working outside...the animals love it as well...

went to church this morning to be sociable in town ya know....lol....so they won't think i'm a total recluse...haha....the feedstore, gas station, oil/tire change, and the cafĂ© know that i'm NOT a recluse!...I probably give them at least a quarter of their income....Haha.....joking....well the feedstore will really be banking on me and others in a few months....

really been upset for one of my "greatest best friends from highschool" she's been dealing with depression and it's been really tough on her this year considering she lost her granny who raised her..i feel soooooo bad for her..she's a great person and doesn't deserve all that pain...she calls me crying some nights and I just cry with her.....you hate to see your best friends go through depression and be in pain....all you can do is be there and listen.....

I don't know if I've ever been actually fully depressed..i mean these past few weeks have been tough as you know...but I haven't been that low....and I hope I never have to be in that position and despair....so I just keep my prayers out on the line for everyone I love/care for and others who need comfort in bad times.....

What you don't know is that I already know and I don't care!!!
today I realized something about my relative who I have been upset about.-----Why do people go to great lengths to cover up all the bad things they have done and hide them from their loved ones?....

Look,I understand you are ashamed of yourself...BUT....Why not just tell me and get it over with?...because I probably already know and don't really care...I love you anyway.

I have a feeling it doesn't really matter to you that others know about what you have done...I've been told.....but oh my goodness! How you are afraid i'm gonna find out!!!..so much so that you are in tears and almost suicidal that I might find out...you've gone to crazy measures to keep it quiet from me..LOL!..so in some ways I suppose I can say that at least you care about me enough and love me enough to want to keep this stupid crap from me...haha!!!...it's actually quite hilarious how far you have gone to hide this stupid BS from me....LOL...

and to see YOU of all people be in such a weak state and suicidal over ME finding out this stupid stuff???!...I'm sorry but LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!That's too funny! but I suppose it's because I look up to you and you're supposed to be a role model for me throughout life and you know that...it would kill you for me to see you as a criminal...but I never would.---it's not terrible stuff...but not good either. 

You're hurting me more being so evasive and secretive....STOP trying to protect me from the truth.....I really don't care whatever you have done.....-----I have a feeling it will soon be all better....things will look up--this all rests on your actions not mine---so fix this upset feeling...only you can.I have hope.staying positive! I do realize and understand that I am not the one with the problem here.it's nothing I have done at all.it's something you are afraid of me knowing about or figuring out.like I said., probably already know.and yeah whatever who cares.no big deal people make mistakes like that everyday..it's called being a human being...lol

nite.

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