just thinking.....

Very tired.

I know that everyone becomes " run down " and overly tired often.

Stress and worry accompany me often, sometimes I cannot sleep for worrying that those bad evil mean people are coming back to try and hurt me, my pets, or my good family members....It is terrible that I have anxiety often and think those nasty people are coming back to hurt me...

I am a very tough person, I just become tired and too often exhausted searching for the answers about all of these things that have went on in my life....

Having to be apart of  nasty terribly dangerous family has been exhausting my whole life, I don't think I have ever had a peaceful rest at all in my life...Too many annoying mean corrupt people near me my whole life who would NEVER leave me alone!...I have fought all of them to keep myself safe, and my loved ones safe.....

Lately I just have been having anxieties, worries, stress, and I can't stop thinking that they are coming back after me, or going to try and kill me....I have always kept my guard up against all people because it is often difficult to trust others when I have seen and been near so many evil people and corruption, it has always circled me....

maybe one day I will be able to have peace in my life, and be free of my anxiety, stress, worries, and not have to battle so many evil people just to live my life and have freedom from these worries!

They all screamed at me that I was going to have to leave! and I said: No! you're the piece of shit that is going to leave! you idiots are the problem!"...they didn't know what to think about that!....it made them angrier....I just laughed at their stupidity the whole time!...I stand my ground always.

I think about the many people and the many things in life my family and their nasty evil co-horts have ruined, and it upsets me, and makes me very angry that they have ruined so many lives and so many good things in the world...

in a too often hopeless world, I have hope for the future I just wish I could repair what my family and their evil cronies have ruined and torn to pieces!!!....

I am not sad, just having difficulty letting go of the thought that they may come back to try and harm me while I sleep or while I am driving alone again....

I know I am a tough bad-ass bitch, I can stand up and battle through most anything as I have had to my whole life, kept my guard up, defended myself and the innocents of the world...so IF I ever get knocked down, I get right back up and keep on going!.....lol...it makes those evil idiots madder!...I played them all, confused them, lied to them, played mind games on them, I knew they were trying to harm me in some way.....I just didn't know how...but I knew it was something evil.....

you have to keep thinking one step ahead of the evil losers to escape them....and that's what I have done!

just being a good person my whole life that is how I survived, and by following God and my religion, which I believe everyone needs a good religion to follow, and believe in to fight these nasty people!

Evil people---they hate good girls, and good people..they hate happy people, they hate innocents, they hate goodness and they set out to destroy them and ruin their lives, and I have known that my whole life....they try to capture you by bringing you down, use you up, devour your life, and bring corruption to the world....

I just have kept on smiling and thrown my head back and laughed, because it has scared them! and angered them!..made them that much angrier toward me!...and I have laughed at them the whole time, they couldn't figure out what was so funny to laugh and smile about!...I was laughing at them!...Haha!....it's funny to laugh at clowns who ruin things!..they try to ruin everyone's lives and ruin everything good in the world, and eventually they ruin their OWN lives and they can't understand why!...I just laugh!.  ;)

I have always thought about a quote I read once and laughed about it: "Always smile and they will wonder what you are up to!".....haha!...that one has worked...or " Kill them with Kindness" as my Grandparents have always said.....LOL.....I have always been nothing but nice to everyone!....lol....

I always wish for peace for the world, and to always bring goodness and laughter to such a sad world...things will become much better, it just takes time to rid the world of evil and I know that....working toward the future to become much happier, cleaner, cheerful, good....you can achieve this everyday even starting with your life, your surroundings, finding the right good path to take in life....I know I have.

being brave and courageous is what everyone should wish to be in life, to fight back against people who repress others, ruin, harm, endanger....anyone who wishes to harm innocent people, innocent animals, needs their damn heads blown off!

I just am very exhausted and I often feel weird due to the fact I still have unanswered questions about many things and I have found no way to relax my worries, stress it is often with me, and I know it must be from still worrying about this or that....thinking they might come back for me and try to kill me, I suppose it is from this constant stress with those idiots my whole life....Are they going to do this? or try that? to harm me?...just always up to no good those evil people....my whole life....so I can see why the stress, worry , anxiety and keeping my guard up to defend myself never ceases....maybe someday.

friends or family that have betrayed me, tried to harm me, I am NEVER upset that they are out of my life for good, once I have been betrayed I just laugh, walk away, never look back, and go on with my life and forget them easily....kick the trash to the curb!....haha!

I just have been having issues with exhaustion lately, stress, and worries, over many things....oh well....

I NEVER have suicidal thoughts or depression...just lots of stress, anxiety and mainly exhaustion....

I enjoy sleeping and when I can fall to sleep, I feel so much better.

Julie